Monday, December 22, 2014

Wingnut Wrapup

God, the fury over Cuba and a movie has been strong on the right.  Which leads me to this question:

Chuck Baldwin, Renew America:  "Are you mad yet?"

Yup.  I sure am.  Well, on with the idiocy:

Conn Carol, Town Hall:  "Obama blames Sony"

Well, no he didn't.  But since when does a blatant lie bother Conservatives?

Allen West, Town Hall:  "The Evolution of an American Patriot – From the Battlefield to Capitol Hill to Policy Development"

Assuming that Allen West was talking about himself, that should have read  "from war criminal to getting kicked out of Congress for being a lunatic, to living off of wingnut welfare spouting the worst right wing delusions."  It is one of the most sickening signs of the deformity of the right wing in this country today that they chose to make a leader and a hero out of a torturer.  But I guess it fits right in with Dick Cheney and all.  "Patriot" indeed.

Mark Davis, Town Hall:  "From Cuba to Sony, Tis' The Season For Surrender"

Cuba:  I thought you had to be at war before you could surrender.  Sony:  Hey, I thought you approved of government keeping its hands off when a corporation makes a decision based on the free market.

Brent Bozell, Town Hall:  "Are There No Media Ethics On Hackers?"

No, Brent.  There aren't any ethics panels for burglars either.  Or, apparently, torturers, corrupt riggers of Wall Street or lying pundits.  Hackers are the least of our problems.

David Limbaugh, Town Hall:  "More 'Tolerance' From Stalinist Universities"

This entire rant is about not "universities," but about one teaching assistant at Marquette University who decided not to include gay rights in a discussion one day in her ethics class.  That's all it takes to be a Stalinist these days.  Quite a change from the time when it took killing a few million people.

Donald Lambro, Town Hall:  "Obama Appeases, Begs, Grovels His Way Through Shameful Deal With Cuba"

At least he didn't send Saddam Hussein a cake, or kiss any Saudi dictators.

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "George Clooney discovers the essential uselessness of the Hollywood he helped create."

Useless?  "Hollywood" is a business.  It exists to make money, for which George Clooney is exhibit number one of that fact.  I never noticed people like this jerk Erick yelling at the washing machine industry or the necktie industry for not standing up against North Korea.  Whether that has anything to do with the fact that neither of the two just mentioned industries are perceived to be owned by people of a certain religion, I'll leave to your imagination.

Roger Kimball, PJ Media:  "Is there any totalitarian American enemy that Obama won't cozy up to?"

Yeah, there is:  the Republican party.

Andrew C. McCarthy, PJ Media:  "What Part of Keeping Cuba Isolated Has Not ‘Worked’?"

All of it, you stupid dick.  Grow up and face reality already.

David P. Goldman, PJ Media:  "Why Liberals Really, Really Hate Us"

Because you are destroying the world, and going around crowing about it.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "New Cash Cow for ISIS: Trafficking Human Organs from Kidnapped Captives"

Free Enterprise!!!  No Regulation!!!

And the winner of Most Unapologetic Lie of the Day:

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Surprise: the Koch brothers are not conservatives"

Ha ha.  They're big supporters of the John Birch society, which their father helped found.  They're really liberals, just like Hitler.

World Net Daily:  "THE IMPERIAL PRESIDENCY-OBAMA SEEKS TO PROLONG POWER"

All the way to the end of his term!  The dictator!

Pat Buchanan, World Net Daily:  "Obama throws Fidel a rope"

Don't worry, Pat.  From what I hear, Fidel is too old to catch it.

Wayne Dupree, Town Hall:  " Sharpton, Poverty Posse Fails to Inform Minorities of Choice"

Their choice to remain poor and be killed by cops.  Sharpton never has a thing positive to say about that option.  FREEDOM, hooah!

Neil Stevens, Red State:  "This is why we need the NSA:  North Korean attackers broke into Sony systems in the US"

Right, the States Rights champions are all of a sudden totally down with Federal surveillance of everyone when it comes to protecting a foreign corporation.

Newsmax:  "Ex-Reagan Cuba adviser: Obama's timing is 'the worst' 

The worst except if he had waited longer.  The best would have been, oh, say, during the Nixon administration, but no, we had to carry on this utterly unproductive, vindictive cruelty to another nation for an extra fifty years before someone finally had the guts to stand up to the hate-filled right wing screamers in this country, who only feel good about government when it's hurting someone.

Garth Kant, Renew America:  "Bachmann leaves Congress with message for America"

Yeah.  A message.  "I'm still stupid."

Jonathan Abbamonte, American Thinker:  "Will Pro-Life Organizations Be Forced to Pay for Abortion?"

Forget that.  I'd be satisfied if they were just forced to pay for all the annoyance they've caused and all of our time they have wasted trying to shove their fanatical idiocy down our throats.  How about starting by taking away their tax exemptions?

Tony Lee, Breitbart:  "White House Fears ‘President Cruz’ Will Overturn Exec Amnesty"

President Cruz.  If that's the biggest thing they have to worry about, they might as well go back to dealing with a squabble between a foreign country and a foreign movie studio.  Or to worrying about an attack from Mars.  That is about as likely as Cruz ending up as President.

Kevin Scholla, Breitbart:  "NEW SEASON OF SARAH PALIN’S SHOW FEATURES TED NUGENT, WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL, AND MISS USA"

I can't wait.  Maybe her "network" would be a perfect home for "Brawling with the Stars."  I know the competition would be stiff to get a chance to throw a punch at Bristol.

Andrew Stuttaford, National Review Online:  "Well, whaddya know...A New York City charter school offers a whopping $125,000 salary to staff its classrooms with top-tier teachers. A new study suggests the model has worked... The contrast is stark—students’ test scores jumped the equivalent of an extra year and a half of schooling in math, with a half-year progression in both English and science…"

But of course, if you suggest raising public school teachers' salaries, you are a Communist union thug trying to rip off the American people.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall Newsbimbo of the year:  "WATCH: NYPD Officers Turn Their Backs on NYC Mayor De Blasio"

Maybe they should have turned their backs on Eric Garner before strangling him to death.  I can only hope that the next time they ask for a raise, De Blasio turns his back on them.  The problem is, liberals are too nice to realize that a little bit of vindictiveness can go a long way with right wingers.

Jeff Jacoby Town Hall:  "A Happy Christmas for the Castro Regime"

I thought the term was "Merry Christmas," punk.  What are you, some kind of liberal Atheist?

And now the runner up for the most unapologetic lie of the day:

Sharyl Attkisson, disgraced right wing ex-reporter:  " I called CDC not long ago and said, “How many active cases are being monitored in the United States of Ebola?” And they said, “1,400.”

1400 people in the US with active cases of Ebola.  And it's all a big secret.  Here's someone that just can't stand it that Obama dealt with the Ebola "crisis" with his usual understated competence.  So, it's time for a malignant lie.  And a lie that is all over the right wing blogosphere today.  You know that, in a day or two, when this preposterous story is discredited, it will disappear from the wingnut world without a trace, like all of their other lies.  Except, of course, the ones that they still repeat over and over again despite the fact that they know perfectly well that they are false- Benghazi, trickle down economics, no global warming, you know, the staples.

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Interview: Former Senior CIA Official Defends Interrogation Program, Blasts 'Political' Report"

Interview:  Charlie Manson defends killing Sharon Tate.  That makes it okay, I guess.

Kurt Schlichter, Town Hall:  "Don’t Blame Sony – Blame Obama and the Tort System"

Who is blaming anyone?  I thought corporations were free to make whatever decisions they wanted, based on the free market.  By the way, nice move there, Kurt, to take advantage of a totally unrelated issue to try to push through the corporate holy grail of "tort reform," otherwise knows as "making it impossible for actual human beings to sue businesses."


Well, how about this touching story of overcoming adversity:

Julian Young, Town Hall:  "In elementary school, I was labeled a low achiever. My teachers constantly advocated to my father about holding me back a grade and even worse, I was placed on Ritalin and different medications to address my behavior and in an attempt to treat some of my disengagement with school overall...Now I am the founder and Executive Director, of The Start Center for Entrepreneurship, a social impact organization that empower communities through innovation, entrepreneurship and talent development."

Hooray! Today, you get paid because you are a black man who is willing to spout white racist ideology!  You must be so proud of yourself.

Roger Kimball, PJ Media:  "Will Bill de Blasio Be Forced to Resign?  Can the mayor of New York govern the city without the support of the police?"

You know what?  If he's really lost their support, this would be a good time to step on their necks until they start to act like human beings.


And now, the Right Wing Story least likely to be true, from the king of  stories least likely to be true:

Jim "Dim Bulb" Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "SHOCK REPORT: US Paid $5 Billion & Released 5 Taliban Prisoners For Deserter Bergdahl"

Source? Some guy who used to be in the National Guard.  I'm sure he got a personal telegram from Barack letting him know about the $5 billion.

Ann Coulter:  "You Can't Be Raped Unless You Are 'Hit On The Head With A Brick' First"

And she should know, because it's obvious that she was hit on the head very hard with a brick, a couple of decades ago.  Probably multiple times.  Given that it is Ann Coulter we are talking about here, she probably liked it.


And a final treat:

Juan Williams, Fox Business News:  "People are fed up with Obama making political decisions on his own"

I mean really, how dare he?  Who gave him the right to run the country?

2 comments:

Magpie said...

"You Can't Be Raped Unless You Are 'Hit On The Head With A Brick' First"

Thanks Ann. About a million emotionally retarded young men have just absorbed that definition.

You gotta wonder about the loopy Right – where do they have the biggest minus?: empathy, imagination or responsibility?

Green Eagle said...

Well, don't worry, Magpie, because those right wing males out there are going to do whatever they want with their women, regardless of whether Ann Coulter gives them permission. I mean, it's in the Bible, right? The one with the secret parts in invisible ink that only Evangelical Christians can see.