Saturday, March 2, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

It's that time again...

Let's just start out with one of the dumbest things ever said:

Richard K. Davis, American Thinker:  "Viewers of Spielberg's Lincoln may succumb to the illusion they're watching history being filmed as it happens, but what they're actually watching is history selectively chosen and programmatically reassembled."

Exactly which viewers think they're watching history being filmed, in 70mm Eastman Color, in the 1860's?   "Selectively chosen and programmatically reassembled?"  Listen, Richard, that's called editing, in case you didn't know.   It's what film making is all about.  Get your mother to explain it to you at bedtime.

David Lawrence, American Thinker:  "My good friend insists on talking gay marriage at the gym. I just wanted to get some punches in."

So either punch him, David, or move to a different gym.  Either way, what makes you think it's our problem?

And now, another sterling example of Republicans hallucinating their own intentions onto liberals:

John White, American Thinker:  "The Feds Want Your Retirement Accounts...Quietly, behind the scenes, the groundwork is being laid for federal government confiscation of tax-deferred retirement accounts such as IRAs. Slowly, the cat is being let out of the bag."

Of course, this is complete nonsense.  I won't even bother you with the idiotic explanation of how this is supposedly happening.   Now, it is true that Republicans and their big donor friends have been engaged for decades in an unrelenting attempt to steal the Social Security trust fund by forcing people to invest their money in a rigged stock market.   But that isn't worthy of John's attention.  No, he'd rather obsess about something that doesn't exist, if it gives him a chance to attack Obama.  It's just too bad for you Conservative guys that Obama refuses to do anything for you to really complain about.

Thomas Lifson, American Thinker:  "Left wing blueprint exposed...Progressives, operating through tax-exempt foundations and union affiliates, have a detailed plan in place to swing North Carolina blue through personal attacks demonizing leading Republican politicians."

Green Eagle says, "right on.  Go for it, baby!"  And, as Mr. Lifson points out, it's all for such an evil purpose too:

"Blueprint aims to influence state policy in NC so that residents of the state benefit from more progressive policies such as better access to health care, higher wages, more affordable housing, a safer, cleaner environment, and access to reproductive health services."

How dare these anti-American Communists try to destroy our freedom like that?

Rick Moran, American Thinker:  "Doctor shortage in FL will get worse with Gov. Scott's Medicaid decision."

Translation:  So many people in Florida can't get health care now, that if we give it to them, there won't be enough doctors.  So, much better to just let them die.


Yeah, we've saved two trillion dollars and four thousand lives compared to the last guy.  That sounds like a benefit to me.

Diana West, Town Hall:  "It's Time to See Joe McCarthy For the Hero He Was"

Yeah, and Hermann Goehring and Joseph Goebbels too.  Diana continues:

"Literally hundreds of Soviet agents taking orders from the KGB and related Soviet intelligence agencies to bring down the American republic had become deeply embedded in the U.S. government in the 1930s and 1940s. Most of them remained undiscovered..."

But THEY REALLY EXISTED, I TELL YOU!!!!  Even though we don't know their names, or have a shred of evidence that they ever were there.  So, SEE!  McCarthy was a HERO, I tell you!!!

Bob Owens:  "It never was tea...Trayvon Martin didn’t purchase tea, and he didn’t have tea in his possession when he died. He instead had watermelon fruit cocktail..."

Well, thanks for setting us straight, Bob.  That changes everything.  I guess Zimmerman did have a right to kill him.  I mean, a black kid carrying watermelon something...what could be more threatening?

Daniel Doherty, Town Hall:  "syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer is reminding Republicans that -- at least for the moment -- they actually have the upper hand politically. During an appearance on “Special Report” last night, he urged Republicans to do two things to expose the Left’s cynical, doomsday scare tactics and curry favor with the public: 1) emphasize that the GOP has indeed offered Senate Democrats and the president “utter discretion” to pick and choose which government programs to cut in lieu of “sequestration” -- ...and 2) highlight how much waste/fraud/abuse there actually is in Washington"

I.e. lie their asses off.  That's their usual tactic, guys.  It's all they've got, so what else can we expect?

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Gov. Cuomo to Hollywood: We’ll Provide an Exemption From Our Strict New Gun Laws Just For, Cuomo realized he forgot about his Hollywood friends. The state is seeking to provide a special exemption to ensure “movie and TV producers can stage running gun battles on Manhattan streets.” Why, you ask?"

Don't know the difference between reality and fiction, huh, Leah?  Well, given all the other things Conservatives claim to believe, it isn't really that surprising.

And now, the stupidest comment of the day:

Bing West, PJ Media:  "The 5 Biggest Insults to American Manhood by the Rules of Engagement in are 5 ways that Obama’s approach to Afghanistan is an affront to American manhood."

I won't bother you with the tedious details of this endless article.  To tell the truth, I didn't bother myself with it.  I just wanted to remind you that the reason we're in Afghanistan is to uphold American manhood.  Mixed Martial Arts wasn't enough, I guess; we need real death.

And as long as we're handing out awards, here's today's champion anti-Obama psychosis:

Maureen Scott, Renew America:  "Obama appears to be tormented- man is filled with resentment, anger, and disdain for anyone of an opinion or view other than his. He acts in the most hateful, spiteful, malevolent, vindictive ways in order to manipulate and maintain power and control over others...It is not the color of his skin that is a problem – for anyone in America...Rather it is the blackness that fills his soul and the hollowness in his heart where there should be abiding pride and love for this country."

Maureen, you are a pathetic, lying, racist pig.  There's lots more, but I'll only annoy you with one more remark from Maureen:

"Never, in this country, have we experienced how much stress one man can cause a nation of people – on a daily basis!"

Forgot about Bush, huh, Maureen?  Well, it was so long ago.  Here's a little of her bio, in case you might be interested in what kind of person gets paid to write evil smears like this:

"Maureen Scott is an ardent American patriot... Her life is guided by a firm belief that truth is the most important virtue, and that God knows what He is doing with her."

Nothing.  That's what God is doing with her.  Nothing.  And with good reason.

Robert Spencer, PJ Media:  "Why Did Lenin and Muhammad Hate Music?"

Lenin didn't hate music, but what's one more little lie when you have a chance to link Communism and Islam, until now regarded by sane people as two of the most utterly opposite things on earth?

Gina Miller, Renew America:  "Violence Against Women Act shreds rights"

It shreds your right to beat up your wife.

John Hawkins, Town Hall:  "Is Barack Obama the Vladimir Lenin of American Presidents? No, Lenin was competent in an evil sort of way. Obama is more like Leonid Brezhnev: an ultra left-wing, belligerent doofus who isn't laughed at by the general population primarily because the mainstream media liberals say nice things about him out of fear that they'll end up in a gulag if they're too harsh."

Oh yeah, that explains it all.  He's a Communist, just a bad one.  That's why he hasn't done anything remotely resembling Communism in the last four years. 

Daniel Greenfield, Front Page Magazine:  "Obama’s worldview did not win. Not in 2008 or 2012. His tactics did. The Republican Party does not have to evolve or devolve into the Democratic Party. What it must do is learn to connect with voters.  The seeds of defeat in 2012 were planted after the midterm election. After his midterm defeat, Obama Inc.’s goal was to make the new Republican Congress appear useless and irrelevant. For the next two years, Obama Inc. portrayed Republicans as useless wranglers who were not interested in actually getting anything done that would benefit people."

Damn that Obama!  There he goes, telling the truth again.  How can Republicans hope to win against malicious tactics like that?  Daniel's solution to this problem?

"The Republican Party does need to “evolve.” It needs to evolve into becoming a predator"

Well, that will help, I'm sure.

Newsmax:  "Two prominent Democratic pollsters — Patrick Caddell and Doug Schoen — are criticizing President Barack Obama as harshly as any Republican.  Obama is trying to destroy the Republican Party by dividing Americans, the two write on Politico.  Obama is trying to destroy the Republican Party by dividing Americans, the two write on Politico."

Funny that this should provoke such right wing outrage, given that this is exactly what Republicans have openly been trying to do to Democrats for decades now.  But of course, it's okay when Republicans do it.  By the way, these two "Democratic pollsters" have been nothing but tools of the right for years, and are lying about this, in case you didn't figure that out for yourself.

Paul Craft, Renew America:  "A study that was done in 2012 found that only 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. In highly religious groups, up to 20% wait until marriage successfully. The 3% is bad enough, but only 20% of church members wait till marriage is very sad. I can only imagine what the Lord thinks of us."

He probably thinks, "Those are the people I created, and since I am omnipotent and omniscient, they turned out just the way I intended them to be.  But that's okay, I'm still going to send people like Paul Craft to berate them for being what they are, because that's just the kind of guy I am."


Magpie said...

"The Republican Party does need to “evolve.” It needs to evolve into becoming a predator"

The last conservative in America I spoke to about evolution didn’t believe in it.

Maybe I should have an entertained his point of view, and considered it possible that some people are just created thugs and morons.

Anonymous said...

This is my favorite read every week. One woman in Chattanooga made $20 last week, just by working at h...I'm kidding, the wrapup rules. Thank you for your perseverance and concise low-bar bullshit detector/explainer/refuter/zinger.

Green Eagle said...

I once heard Randy Newman asked how he wrote his songs. He replied, "I just think of an asshole and write a song about them."

I don't need to think of assholes. America's Conservative movement kindly provides me all I need, and really, it doesn't take much but a really negative attitude to think of what to say about them.

I read recently that pessimists live longer than optimists. That's great for Green Eagle- he's going to live forever.

Dave Dubya said...

With that formula Newman could release a ten disc set of songs about Republicans.

"It's Money that Matters" and "Let's Drop the Big One Now" come to mind.