Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

It's that time again!  Time for Green Eagle to drive you half crazy with an orgy of meaningless screeching!  I mean, what else are parrots for, right?  At least Green Eagle is polite enough to let other do the screeching for him.  So, here goes:


First the award for over the top Rhetoric of the Week:

Kevin Fobbs, Renew America:  "The nation that was represented as a symbolic shining city on a hill that President Ronald Reagan spoke about over 30 years ago is now becoming a broken mud hole of shattered dreams. America's morning that has dawned over the nation is now bearing witness to the shredding of constitutional protections which have safe guarded families since the infancy of the republic. Obama has given the order to Vice President Biden: full steam ahead to obliterate gun rights in your town. You and your family are the targets and what will you do?"

What a bunch of twaddle.  Never forget, it was Reagan and Bush that turned our shining city into a mud puddle, and as usual, Democrats have to fix the damage, while Republicans stand on the sidelines and tell their lies.  Kevin goes on to "quote" John Hancock:

"for a well-regulated militia of the whole people who would fight "for their liberty, and for themselves, and for their God."

Do I need to even state that there is not a shred of evidence that John Hancock ever said this?  In fact, the only mentions of it I could find on Google led right back to Kevin's article.  As far as I have been able to tell, Kevin invented it himself.  Never mind, it has already been picked up by wingnuts, who of course don't give a damn about the truth, and it is in the process of being spread far and wide, like the right wing lies that Hitler imposed gun control, or that the second amendment is about defending ourselves against the government.  On the other hand, here is something Hancock did say, in a speech delivered on March 5, 1774 in Boston:

"From a well-regulated militia we have nothing to fear; their interest is the same with that of the State."

Their interest is the same with that of the State. Hmm. Doesn't really sound like Hancock was that much into using the militias against the government.   And while we're at it, here is a bonus quote from that speech:

"...people who pay greater respect to a wealthy villain than to an honest, upright man in poverty, almost deserve to be enslaved; they plainly show that wealth, however it may be acquired, is, in their esteem, to be preferred to virtue."
Sound like any particular party you can think of?

Now, some problems that we don't really need to deal with:

Michelle Malkin, Town Hall:  "From New York to New Mexico and across the dependent plains, welfare recipients are getting sauced on the public dime. Drunk, besotted, bombed. But while politicians pay lip service to cutting government waste, fraud and abuse, they're doing very little in practice to stop the EBT party excesses. Where's the compassion for taxpayers?"


All of which doesn't add up to the cost of one unneeded f-22, let alone all of the dozens of useless ships that the Romney administration was planning to build.  Way to focus on the real budget problems, Michelle.  What a vicious, hate-filled pig.

Cute girl, Republican Style


Weasel Zippers:  "Obama Campaign Staffers Left Unemployed And Without Health Insurance"

Because he obviously had a responsibility to take care of them for the rest of their lives. I mean, if there is one thing right wingers stand for, it's taking care of people with no jobs, right? Funny, wingnuts don't care when Republicans leave the whole country unemployed and without health insurance.

Mark Davis, Town Hall:  "You Can't Call a Pretty Girl Pretty; What Kind of Country Are We Becoming?"

Our most pressing issue- something someone said at a football game.  Mark isn't interested in what kind of country we are becoming when we let a President torture people and start an illegal war in which hundreds of thousands were killed, without throwing him in jail for the rest of his life.  No, that isn't really worth thinking about.  But someone who didn't like something a football announcer said- why, that threatens our whole republic!

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "I am utterly uninspired by first women astronauts or Secretaries of State. It is of no consequence to me what percentage of the United States Senate or House of Representatives shares my chromosomes. I don't wait with gnawing impatience for America to pass the milestone of needing a fellow to fill the post of First Gentleman."


And why would Mona feel this way?

"Suzanna Martinez was terrific at the Republican Convention. Nikki Haley seems very solid. But let's face it, most women in politics are liberals, and women voters tend to prefer Democrats."

Aah, now the picture is getting clearer.  Suzanna Martinez and Nikki Haley- terrific.  Hillary Clinton, our two female Supreme Court Justices, Nancy Pelosi- no mention of them.  Because it's impossible to be terrific and a Democrat at the same time.

Oliver North, Town Hall:  "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.  Full disclosure right upfront: I'm a proud life member of the National Rifle Association. I am on the NRA's board of directors and serve as chairman of the organization's Military and Veterans' Affairs Committee."

Well, that's all we need to hear from you, Ollie, you treasonous, drug dealing son of a bitch.  Thanks for admitting in advance that you are a paid stooge of the NRA, and saving us the trouble of reading any farther.

Brian Sikma, Red State:  "Obama EPA Forces Company to Cut Jobs, Spend $6 million on Green Agenda"


Translation into English:  "Obama EPA forces company to stop giving people cancer."  Doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

John Hayward, Human Events:  "NRA unimpressed with White House outreach effort"

Who cares?

Michael Walsh, PJ Media:  "Yesterday, as the day before and the day before that, there was no sign of any GOP leader anywhere, on the nominations, on the “executive order” on guns, on the key nominations. No appearances. No statements. Just crickets.  Those crickets would be the American people, just itching for a fight with Obama and the Democrats but finding no one to lead them."

Right, Michael.  The American people, who just soundly reelected Obama, are just "itching" to pick a fight with him.  Keep believing your own lies, guy.  I can't wait for 2014.  This jackass continues:

"...it’s not because we lost — it’s because we didn’t fight. Didn’t pay the slightest attention to Churchill:

"We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender"

Instead, somebody named Willard Mitt Romney pretended to run for president"


Well, thanks for setting us straight on that one, Michael.  Romney only pretended to run, and the Republicans didn't fight anyone on the beaches.  Michael, listen, you ass:  Churchill wasn't speaking figuratively when he said that, he was talking literally about a real invasion, with lots of soldiers, from the most evil government in world history.  Obama did not make himself just like Hitler by winning the 2012 election, he made himself more like George Washington or Abraham Lincoln, who also were actually elected.   So, here's a friendly suggestion for you, Michael: rot in hell. 

Bryan Preston, PJ Media:  "Recasting History: Scholarly Study Finds that Race, Class, and Gender Studies Crowd Up University American History Classes"

History classes that could otherwise be filled with the story of heroic white males saving the world from ignorant brown savages, over and over again.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "HUNDREDS OF TEXANS Rally For Independence at State Capitol in Austin"

And here they are:



Good luck with that, guys.  Looks like you have some real momentum there, yes sir.  Get back to us in a few years and let us know how things worked out for you.

Mark Levin: "I Can Barely Contain My Fury At What Is Going On... I'm just being honest with you. I can barely contain it. I'm so frustrated by this tyranny, you have no idea."

So fucking what, Mark?

Austin Hill, Town Hall:  "Some Venezuelans are concerned that their President might be violating their nation’s Constitution."

Oh my God, who are these "some" Venezuelans and what dastardly violation of the Venezuelan constitution is Chavez up to?  Making himself dictator for life?  Ordering the military to kill his opponents?  Stealing all the money?

"In a hastily arranged press conference, the leadership of the Venezuelan Catholic Church announced that delaying President Hugo Chavez' inauguration would be a "morally unacceptable" violation of their national constitution. According to the Venezuelan constitution, Chavez’ term in office was to have officially ended on January 10th, whereupon he would have been sworn in to his next (and fourth) term in office.  However, Chavez has been ill with cancer for the past 18 months or so... Why are other constitutionally elected officials in the Venezuelan government so beholden to Chavez, and so ambivalent about their nation’s laws?"

The law that Chavez must be sworn in on a specific date is written in stone by the lord God, apparently.  The law that he gets to be President because of his landslide victory in an internationally observed fair election- well, that's not so important.  Just ask Catholic leaders- a group famous for their strict moral standards.  Well, here's one more piece of right wing cant from this idiot:

"After taking office, he claimed that he had “inherited” the worst economic situation in his country’s recent history (sound familiar?)."

Yeah, it sounds familiar, jerk.  If you're talking about Barack Obama, it sounds familiar because it's true.  Time to take your head out of the sand and deal with reality, buddy.

Star Parker, Town Hall:  "Roe v Wade, Forty Years After...The number forty has great significance in the Bible."

And one more article we don't need to read.

John Ransom, Town Hall:  "So Fake It’s Real: Global Warming is Reality TV for the Media Elite "

They'll never give up.  Not because they believe what they are saying, mind you.  No, it's because they get paid by crooked oil companies to say things like this.  Just one statistic here:  13,000 to 24.  That's the number of peer reviewed articles that support man-made global warming versus the number that don't.  Or, 99.84%.  Not enough for liars like John to quit spreading their malignant propaganda. 

Katie Kiefer, Town Hall:  "Guns and Love...Guns, guns, guns. Love, love, love. America needs guns and love."

Man, they really are hiring infants these days to push their crap.

Matt Barbour, Town Hall:  "Civil War’s A-Brewin’...This might be a good time for me to add that no one’s taking my guns. Period. And if Dianne Feinstein orders me from her lofty perch on the left-coast to retroactively register them with some federal autocracy, I think I might just forget I even have them. Tens of millions of law-abiding, God-fearing Americans just like me and Dad, I suspect, feel the same way."

Civil war, blah, blah, blah.  Don't they ever get sick of this crap?  And by the way, Matt, didn't it ever occur to you that if the government passes a law and tens of millions of people refuse to comply with it, you can't exactly call them "law-abiding?"  No, right wingers only have to obey the laws they agree with.  After all, they answer to a higher authority- greed.

Newsmax:  "McCain Won't Block Hagel Nomination"

WHAT? And miss a chance to be an asshole?  I'll believe that when I see it.

John Ransome, Town Hall:  "It’s not just that our emperors have no pants, it’s that they don’t want pants and it never occurs to them to wear any. Pants just make raping hotel maids- and the taxpayers- a tad more difficult as we lie back and think of England."

Huh?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "“Obama Phone” Lady Says She’s Darn Sure She Won’t Vote For Obama Again"

I guess not.  He can't run again.  Figure it out, Jim. 

William R. Mann, Renew America:  "Now we know what destroyed Detroit-Just like I discussed in my last article, Democrat Bolshevism, if you want a peek at where Obama and his Marxist crew are taking us, then look at what happened to Detroit. It is a case study. This will happen to the rest of the USA over time if these people and their ideas prevail. Detroit is an example of what Socialism and Communism do best: depreciate, dismantle, destroy, defeat, and demoralize. Almost an entire once great city ... now it lies in ruins."


And here I thought it was when their rich corporate overlords moved all their jobs overseas.  Shows what an idiot I am.  I should have known that it was Bolshevist Democrats.  How could I have been so wrong?

Pam Geller, American Thinker:  "New York Times Declares Victory in Feminism's War on Love and Romance...Men-hating parasites have ruined the glorious exaltation of women in 20th-century America."

Right, Pam.  Well, this makes a delightful change from your usual foaming-at-the-mouth Islam bashing, but still, you don't add up to much but a target for cheap laughs. 

Todd Beamon, Newsmax:  "Former U.S. Attorney General Edwin Meese III declared in an exclusive Newsmax TV interview that President Barack Obama could easily be impeached if he bypassed Congress and enacted gun-control legislation by executive order."

Ed Meese.  Well, I guess it takes one to know one.  Todd forgot to mention that Ed Meese was driven out of office because of a corruption scandal.    Great authority on constitutional law, huh?  Of course, he's right in a way- Republicans intend to find a way to "impeach" Obama over something, and it could just as well be this.


Enough for today, huh?  More than enough.  But it keeps on coming.  Back with more, real soon.

2 comments:

Poll P. said...

I'm happy to see that the right are no more rational and altruistic in 2013 than they were last year. Keep on truckin'.

(O)CT(O)PUS said...

Green Eagle,

Please send me an email:
SwashZone at gmail

Urgently needed: A screeching parrot!