Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Wingnut Wrapup

Okay, okay, I've got to get rid of this stuff before it gets a fungus and infects my computer.  Really, I can remember a couple of years ago when I used to be able to find this much to ridicule every day.  I think the Republicans have gotten so complacent about their hatred that they just aren't putting much effort into it any more.  They think any old hate is good enough to win them a coveted place in Wingnut Wrapup.  How wrong they are!  Nothing but the finest is good enough for Green Eagle's loyal readers.  And here it is.  It's a sorry lot, but apparently it's the best they can do:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "#Occupy Criminal Movement Becomes Latest Terrorist Wing of Democrat Party ...Next Monday a group of boors known as “Occupy for Democracy” will hold a militant march in front of Michigan Governor Rick Snyder’s home east of Ann Arbor. They’re renting buses and hauling in goons from Detroit, Flint, Grand Rapids, Muskegon, and Benton Harbor to make noise. "

Apparently, now it is an act of terrorism for liberals to make noise.  At least if it's noise that Jim doesn't want to hear; i.e. the truth.  Jim continues:

"The Ku Klux Klan assassinated many Republicans including Republican Representative James M. Hinds (December 5, 1833—October 22, 1868)...It’s almost as if the #Occupy criminal movement has taken over where the KKK left off.  Isn’t it about time this movement was outlawed?"

I see.  When you are a liberal, stating your view in public is exactly equivalent to assassination.  That makes sense.  Funny, the only example of Democratic assassination Jim could find was from 1868.  Not only are liberals murderers, but apparently they are very lazy.

Dana Loesch, CNN:  "Now we have a bunch of progressives that are talking smack about our military because there were marines caught urinating on corpses"

And after all, what is there about urinating on corpses to be upset about?  Isn't that normal American behavior?

And while we're on the subject:

Did you ever in your whole life think you would have to listen to a sentence like this from a supposedly serious news source? 

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Today’s American Hero Spotlight Goes to Dana Loesch: “I’d Drop Trou and Do it Too”

No bigger hero in the eyes of the right than a millionaire talking head sitting in the comfort of her TV studio and making obscene threats to someone on the other side of the world.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Unreal… Obama Slams Romney for Destroying Good-Paying Jobs"

Yeah, shut up, Barack.  Destroying jobs- that's Mitt's duty to his class.

Larry Kudlow, Town Hall:  "Isn’t a Bainful Turnaround What America Needs? "

Yeah, Larry, that's right!  Richer rich people and less jobs- that's the ticket for an economic recovery.  Why didn't we think of that?

Now for the Islamoterrorist horror of the day:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Muslim Man Throws Black Ink at Yoga Guru During Press Conference"

Oh God, will the world ever survive?

And now, a supreme example of Conservative logic:

Astute Bloggers:  "Why doesn't the legacy media research Bain's record?  The legacy media has stood aside and openly wondered why Mitt isn't explaining what the record of Bain really is.

WHY DON'T THEY RESEARCH IT? Isn't this the perfect thing for them to independently investigate!?!?!?  Because they are on Obama's side..."

Yes indeed, they are giving the likely Republican nominee a free ride because they are in the tank for Obama.  Man, finally everything makes sense!  Where would we be without people like the Astute Bloggers to explain things for us?

Astute Bloggers:  "THANKS OBAMA: JIHADISTS STORM AND TAKE RAMADI'S ANTI-TERROR POLICE BUILDING...THEY WERE WELL ARMED, WEARING BOMB BELTS AND THEY'RE HOLDING HOSTAGES.

THE WAR WAS WON UNDER BUSH.

Listen, morons, if the war was won under Bush, why should it matter that Obama pulled out the troops?  The truth, as I have often had to point out, is that Bush and Cheney took the most powerful military in the history of the world, attacked a pathetic third world country starved by ten years of sanctions, and lost.  This will be remembered for millenia as one of the greatest military blunders in the history of the human race.  Nothing will ever change that, least of all your endless willingness to repeat the most preposterous lies about it.  Obama's real mistake was that he didn't point this out and pull all American troops out of Iraq the day after he was elected.  Now he has willingly tainted himself by participating in Bush's abysmal failure.  That's the reality- deal with it.

Now, for the Black Is White Award for today:

Donald Douglas, PJ Media:  "Progressive Race-Baiters Destroyed Civil Rights Progress in America"

No ridicule could possibly be enough for lying idiots like Donald.  Really- progressives destroyed civil rights progress.  This is one guy that really needs to go back in his hole.

Chuck Norris, World Net Daily:  "My 1 question for all GOP candidates"

Why would you ever give a damn what Chuck Norris has to say?  That's my number one question at the movement.

John Stossel, Town Hall:  "Don't Trust Your Instincts"

Trust the Koch brothers. They only have your best interests at heart. Now shut up and do as you are told.

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "Sarah Palin Says She’d Vote for Newt...This will probably be the biggest news of the morning."

Oh, I don't know, Erick, how about this breaking story:  "Kitten falls off couch, lands on feet."

And here's the real cause of the nation's budgetary malaise:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "US TAXPAYERS Stuck With Port-a-Potty Bill From Yesterday’s #Occupy DC Protest"

About $2100, according to Jim (which given his past history, probably means the real bill was around 39 cents.)  I wonder how that compares to what it cost us to let Republicans hold their little "demonstration" for eight years in Iraq? 

Jeannieology, Renew America:  "Does Barack Obama survive because he's unfit?"

Finally! Conservatives have found evidence to disprove evolution!

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