Last week: Romney up by eight votes in Iowa: a smashing victory.
Today's final Iowa results: Santorum wins by 34: Republican officials say "it's a split decision."
Man, I bet the Green Bay Packers wish they could have gotten that deal.
In further Republican news: Romney admits that he has investments in the Cayman Islands, but says they had nothing to do with avoiding U.S. taxes.
Defendant: "Yes, your honor, I admit that ounce of cocaine is mine, but I only bought it to use as roach repellant."
But wait, there's more! Newt's second wife to claim that Newt asked her to have an open marriage so he could continue screwing Callista without the public humiliation of another divorce.
Man, at least Bill Clinton didn't try to move Monica into the Lincoln bedroom.
Well, this is what happens when you let a pack of crazy, stupid people have a veto over who your party runs for president.