Monday, January 9, 2012

My Defense Speech

As was absolutely inevitable, Obama's proposal to slice a little sliver from our monstrously bloated military budget is meeting with the usual pack of right wing smears and lies.  So, in an attempt to be helpful, Green Eagle would like to present the speech he would have given in announcing these cuts:

"Fellow Americans,

You are about to hear from numerous Republicans that the military budget cuts I am announcing are going to compromise your security and make you less safe.

Well, for once the Republicans are telling the truth.  The money that we have to spend on our military is so restricted that your government is not going to be able to pay to totally protect you.

This is because two trillion dollars in funds that should have been available for military purposes were squandered by the previous Republican administration in a disastrous, failed war of aggression against an innocent country.  Now, in a time of very limited government resources, also caused by the profligate waste and corruption of that administration, we simply don't have the money to pay for the kind of military you would like to have, that is, unless you would all like to give up your financial security and medical coverage to foot the bill.

Oh, of course, I meant all of you but the very rich.  Don't worry about them- they will be just fine.  Otherwise, you can make your choice.  Less security, or get used to living in refrigerator boxes.  The first is our plan, the second is the Republican plan.  See you in November."


St. Joan said...

Would that you were the President's speechwriter, and that he listened to you!

Have a safe trip. Look forward to dispatches from the land of Strom-and-Drang.

Anonymous said...

for your intellect commenter who made this comment:

What do all those people have in common?"

They're not the majority of the population, who are malnourished. They’re party-privileged, probably the children of senior members.
But even some of them probably laughed afterwards.

Couldn't let this one get by.