Green Eagle's Exhaustive Report on Nights Three and Four of the Republican Convention

Or, as Green Eagle calls it, Celebrity Sturmbannfuhrer.

Night Three

I didn't watch.  I hear there were a lot of lies, and that Mike Pence was, as expected, almost lethally boring.

 Night Four

Somehow, I made it as far as Ben Carson's speech, which was perhaps the most extreme example of groveling toadyism I have ever heard.  As for the rest, I hear there were a lot of lies, and Donnie tried and failed to match Fidel Castro or Kim Jong Un for unendurably prolonged recitation of meaningless garbage, and that was about it.  However, he does get an A for effort, as neither of the other two ever managed to deliver their diatribes to an unprotected crowd during a pandemic.  Heck, even Hitler never achieved that memorable feat in the history of oratory, so Donnie at least gets a footnote in the record books.

In the end, Cthulhu decided he had better things to do with his time, and cancelled his scheduled appearance.

Well, that's it, or at least all it deserves.  Thank heaven that's over for four years.

Green Eagle is confidently expecting a Pulitzer Prize for his Republican convention coverage, which he is positive is the most accurate reporting on the event you will hear anywhere, and occupied as little of your time discussing it as it deserved.