Monday, June 19, 2017

Wingnut Wrapup

Man, the wingnuts have been boring lately, but I guess it's time to get back to their idiocy.  I've tried to leave out the worst of the bootlicking Trump-loving, so here's what's left:

So, let's just start out with this important announcement:

Christine Rousselle, Town Hall:  "American Student Released From North Korea Has Been In A Coma For Over A Year"

So what?  Every Republican voter has been in one for years.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Hmmm: Special Counsel Mueller's Team Sure is Stacked With Democrat Donors, Including a Hillary Supporter"

Whereas, according to people like Katy, the only ones qualified to comment on the state of the country are foaming-at-the-mouth right wing lunatics.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Is President Trump's $110 Billion Arms Deal For Saudi Arabia About To Get Blocked In The Senate?"

No, Katie, for the simple reason that the "arms deal" was never anything but a gigantic lie like every other thing he ever claimed credit for (except grabbing pussies, of course.  That was true.)  You can't block something that doesn't exist.

Dennis Prager, Town Hall:  "What Happened to the Hysteria About Trump-Induced Anti-Semitism?"

It got lost in the wake of the thousand other outrages you guys are perpetrating, Dennis.

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "Secret Service: We Don't Have Any Trump Tapes"

Trump lied!  Really, not news any more.

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Trump: So Far, I've Accomplished More Than Any President Except FDR"

Will you be surprised to hear that Leah reported this without breaking into a single guffaw of derision?

Jim Jamitis, Red State:  "Unbelievable: Guess What Words the Feminists Now Say Are Sexist"

No thanks, Jim.  Not biting on that one.

Freedomlover 1776, Red State:  "Socialist Single-Payer Agenda Is Behind Attacks On Drug Companies"

You bet your booties, guy.  What's your point?  By the way, with a name like that, I bet your IQ isn't above 80.  As demonstrated by this grasp of the facts:

"Perhaps if the media weren’t in the tank they would ask single-payer advocates why they believe folding the drug companies into society’s least efficient institution is likely to cut costs?"

Society's least efficient institution...Medicare has an overhead of about 3%.  Private insurance has an overhead of close to 30%.  Guess that fact escaped freedomlover 1776's attention.

Liz Shield, PJ Media:  "Trump Must Stand Strong on Qatar"

Yeah, because if he admits he's been endangering world security by telling self aggrandizing lies, where will we end up?

Christina Laila, Gateway Pundit:  "CONFIRMED=> Obama Had His Own ‘Back Channel’ to Moscow – ‘Modern-Day Red Phone’

See, that was after Obama became President, and it was his job to conduct foreign diplomacy, not before he became President, when he would have been sabotaging the country's security for his own benefit.  Get the difference?  No, I didn't think you would, Christina.

Charlie Stark, Gateway Pundit:  "Dog the Bounty Hunter's Ex-Wife is Unrecognizable"

At last, a story from Gateway Pundit we can believe!  Why don't they ever have important news like this at Daily Kos?

But wait!  We can't leave Gateway Pundit without giving its founder, Jim Hoft, a chance to write the most disgusting article of the day:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Comey Colluded with Obama on Radical Islamic Murder of US Marines"

The "collusion" consisting in Comey, as head of the FBI, and Obama, as President, meeting to discuss the prosecution of the murderer.  Bet you never guessed that from the headline, did you? And once again, I must remind you that Trump gave Jim Hoft White House press credentials.

Carter, Gateway Pundit:  "Carter Page Calls for Release of FISA Warrant Details Comey’s FBI ‘Concocted’"

Concocted.  The FBI "concocted" the details of the warrant, i.e. they wrote them down.  A miserable liberal crime- putting the truth down on a piece of paper.

"…I think the “really important documents” you could release would show a great deal about the nature of not just Comey and his continued lies, but the exceptionally dishonest nature of the Clinton campaign and Obama Administration"

And JFK, FDR, Thomas Jefferson and every other hateful Democrat in recorded history.

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Persecuting Trump while inviting terrorism"

Persecuting the poor guy!  I feel so sorry for him.

"The fate of the West, including Israel, may hinge on Trump remaining in office and pulling off a major realignment and reversal of Obama's policy in the Middle East."

Yeah, it may depend on our creating a new breed of superdonkeys that will rampage throughout the Middle East biting the living bejesus out of the bad guys.  You just never know.  Best to be safe and keep irradiating those donkeys- personally, I think that is a better strategy than keeping Trump in the White House.

Darren Jonescu, American Thinker:  "Canada Goes Full Maoist"

Full Maoist!

And what could Canada be doing to go full Maoist?

"Health Canada is mulling a sweeping ban on junk food ads aimed at children and teens, media reports say."

Mao?  Sounds to me like they are going full Genghis Khan, taking candy bars away from kids.  What a threat to civilization.

Infowars:  "TIM KAINE, LORETTA LYNCH CALLED FOR BLOOD & DEATH IN STREETS"

Yeah, sure they did.  Thanks for that contribution to our political discourse, Alex.

Infowars:  "WHAT ALEX JONES REALLY BELIEVES ABOUT SANDY HOOK"

Hey, Green Eagle can answer that one.  Alex Jones believes there is money to be made spreading hateful lies about Sandy Hook.

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Sarah Palin Considering Libel Lawsuit Against New York Times"

Well, that's nice.  She's got to do something to get her name back in the news before the money runs out.

Todd Starnes, Town Hall:  "Remember the Professor Who Said Republicans Should be Executed?"

No, not really.

Before It's News:  "PizzaGate: Rep Scalise Shot for Exposing Global Elites Child Trafficking Ring!"

At last!  Now it all makes sense!  You know, the utter breakdown in the willingness of right wingers to even try to go with the truth against what they know perfectly well to be lies is just stunning.

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "GA-06: Americans For Prosperity Banking On Non-Jungle Primary Voters In Georgia Special Election "

"Non-jungle primary voters."  Get it, or was that too subtle for you?

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "MSNBC's Joy Reid: Yeah He Just Got Shot, But Lets Not Forget Steve Scalise Is a Racist"

Apparently, if Hitler had gotten shot in the hip, it would have been fine to forget his political views.

Larry Klayman, Renew America:  "A nation on the brink of civil war... if the drumbeat of verbal attacks, leaks and otherwise destructive assaults on President Donald J. Trump, his family, those around him and their supporters do not soon abate, expect right-wing militias and other reactive vigilantes to spring into action, resulting in a full-fledged civil war, with blood flowing in our neighborhoods and streets."

Well, Larry, since the last few rebellions that you have called for have failed to get more than a few dozen people to turn up, I'm guessing it will be a very short war.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "St. Louis Cardinals reject homosexual supremacy"

Well, that's nice.  But wait, Bryan isn't done humiliating himself today:

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "How long was Jesus' hair?"

A vital question in today's world, about which Bryan has a lot to say:

"The Scripture says, if I am interpreting it correctly, that any man who prays or prophesies with long hair dishonors his head. Christ certainly prayed and he certainly prophesied and would never do it in such a way that his Father would be dishonored.

Thus, I think it is a reasonable conclusion that Jesus' hair was cut Roman-style rather than Fabio-style."

Oh, fuck you, Bryan.  What kind of a moron are you, anyway?

World Net Daily EXCLUSIVE!  "250 Christian kids 'kneaded in a dough mixer'

Whatever.  Do I need to remind you what it means that nobody on earth will touch a story except World Net Daily?

And that's enough for now, don't you think?

8 comments:

Poll P. said...

What words do the Feminists Now Say are Sexist? I'm on tenterhooks!

Flying Junior said...

I guess this seems silly to point out.

Samson was a Nazirite.

Zog said...

I checked some pictures.

None of the Alou brothers had long hair.

Green Eagle said...

Well, I'm glad we got that straight.

Percy said...

I saw something about donkeys.

How's Moses?

Jason said...

I like this bullet point style of listing the moronic right. Sure it's entertainingly depressing but it's really efficient. Thanks Green eagle!

Green Eagle said...

Jason, I just figure that one or two sentences from each of these idiots is about all any sane person could tolerate, and I want people to get some feeling for how much of this lying and belligerence is out there.

Jason, Moses is just fine, the last I heard. He's getting up in years, but still happily trotting around the pasture. Thanks for asking.

Dikran Hagopian said...

I'm back from the hospital, and have rethought a few things.

First, you have an excellent brain.

Second, I've been a bit too hard on you.

Here's a selection from Howlin' Wolf for you.