Monday, June 24, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

Yeah, Green Eagle has been neglecting Wingnut Wrapup lately.  Well, not exactly- he has just been waiting for a legal opinion about whether he could be sued for boring people to death if he repeats much of the turgid garbage Republicans have been dishing out lately.  Here's the best of a miserable crop:

John Ransom, Town Hall:  Certainly the GOP has helped establish a track record of what might be the sorriest 25 years of governing in American history. But it’s because they have supported watered-down versions of the Democrat agenda."

Yes, we Republicans have wrecked the country.  But it's all the Democrats' fault.  No, really.  Take John's word on this one.  Would he lie to you?

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "I've pored over some of the research (on climate change) but can't hazard a guess as to whether the alarmists or the skeptics are right."

She can't tell whether 99.84% of the peer reviewed papers are likely to be right, or whether the other 0.16% are.  This is a new tactic of the right- "Poor little old me just can't understand all this scientific talk, so I guess we'd just better do nothing and let the Koch brothers have their way."  Antonin Scalia used it just a few days ago when he claimed to be unable to comprehend the meaning of a three or four paragraph summation of the nature of DNA.  It's "The argument from proud ignorance," I guess.

Bob Owens, Moron Extraordinaire:  "I can understand why South Carolina Representative Jeff Duncan is uncomfortable with the thought of IRS agents armed with AR-15s.  Rank-and-file IRS agents need staplers, not firearms, and none need semi-automatic Ar-15s or selective-fire M4/M16s."

Of course, it is perfectly wonderful for mentally ill, violent people to own them.  But government agents?  No way.  After all, those mass shootings that we see every few days?  All committed by IRS agents, right?

Stephen Green, PJ Media:  "Did the Administration Hack CBS News Reporter’s Computer?"

A CBS reporter got a virus on her computer.  The right wing blogs are full of accusations that Obama ordered this himself, since no one ever heard of getting a virus any other way.

Selwyn Duke, Renew America:  "Marco Rubio is dead to me"

And his cat too.  Listen, Selwyn, no matter how hard you try, no one is going to hire a wanker like you to be the new Tony Soprano.

Alan Keyes, Renew America:  "Impeachment now!"

In 2004, Obama ran for a Senatorial seat in Illinois.  Alan Keyes was his opponent.  Obama got over 70% of the vote.  Keyes never recovered from the loss and has spent much of the last nine years viciously attacking Obama.  Yet this disturbed sore loser is still a Repubican favorite.  It's all they've got.

Selwyn Duke, Renew America:  "Rise in female breadwinners means America is a loser"

Man, I don't even have a sarcastic remark for that one.  What kind of pathetic excuse for political discourse is this anyway?

Floyd Brown, Capitol Hill Daily:  "U.S. Government Collapse Inches Closer...Each Friday I report on the impending and inevitable collapse of the U.S. Federal Government. "

EACH FRIDAY!  I report it every Friday! And if I live long enough, some day it will come true!  Oh, boy!

Cal Thomas, Town Hall: "Let the broadcast networks not make a "play" for the Fox audience. That just means more success and more money for Roger Ailes."

Until the Fox audience is all dead.  Which, giving that they average over 65 years old, and largely come from the most unhealthy parts of the country, will be any time now.  Thank heaven.

Julie Gunlock, Town Hall:  "Radical Environmentalists Should Mind Their Own Business"

Solutions to our problems, Conservative style.  Here's more from Julie: 

"That’s a fact often lost in the conversation about chemicals. Organizations vilify them, and suggest that their benefits are negligible and use is unnecessary. Yet these chemicals actually make products better, safer, more durable, longer lasting, and a lot more affordable"

Until they kill you.

Mara Zebest, Gateway Pundit:  "If Africa fails to arrest Obama when he visits, the U.S. should certainly arrest him when he returns. Just pick from a multitude of crimes: Fast & Furious, Benghazi, IRS, NSA, arming Syria, not eligible to sit in office—any of these crimes are treasonous against the constitution and the interests of the U.S."

Jim Hoft has managed to find a guest poster who is even dumber and more deranged than he is.  Amazing.

Star Parker, Town Hall:  "Two Black Democrats Become Republicans in Louisiana "

Two.  TWO! In Louisiana!  Where people always vote for good government!  Give up, liberals, you're doomed!

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "White House Tweets Picture of Obama With a Scary Gun for Father's Day"

This may just be the stupidest post yet from Town Hall's favorite blog bimbo.  Here's the picture:

Man, that is scary, huh?

Armstrong Williams, Town Hall:  "Donald Trump: An American Icon Worth Celebrating"

Grow up already, Armstrong.

Carol Platt Liebeau, Town Hall:  "Transcripts Won't Help the IRS"

Not with Republicans.  Even when they prove that Republicans were lying about Obama as part of their ongoing effort to gin up an excuse to impeach him.  Because Republicans don't care about the truth.  And they really care about impeaching the black guy.

Dana Loesch, Red State:  "9/11 began as an immigration problem... Mohammed Atta was pulled over for a traffic violation and never showed in court"

Right.  If we just kicked every Muslim that ever got a traffic ticket out of the country, our problems would all be solved.

Joe the Plumber, Red State:  "If the Bush years opened up Pandora’s Box when it comes to spending and snooping, then Barack Obama has blown the Box up. It took the Tea Party to step in and at least stop the bleeding in 2012, hoping the Republicans would grow a pair and at a minimum defund ObamaCare; and in a perfect world, field a candidate in 2012 that would flush these Chicago Thugs, Marxists and Traitors out of our system for a couple decades"

Oh, so it was the teabaggers that set the Federal budget back on a path toward sustainability.  And how, exactly, did they do that?    And Joe, you did run a candidate that would "flush these Chicago Thugs, Marxists and Traitors out of our system."  He just got the crap kicked out of him by an electorate which, however misled by your billion dollar campaign of lies, still knew enough not to fall for the best candidate you guys had.  And by the way, Joe the Plumber?  Someone is still paying him to speak out?  Really, how lacking in talent are the Republicans?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Enough Is Enough… ‘Gang of 8′ Members Jeff Flake & John McCain Face Recall Petitions"

Yippee!  Republicans eat their own!  They won't be satisfied until their party is 100% Heinrich Himmler compatible, and Green Eagle wishes them the best of luck.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "What Jesus would say to an illegal alien... Return home. Obey the law. Leave the place where you have no legal right to be and return to the place where you do."

That must have been in the same little known book of the Bible where Jesus told the parable of the Bad Samaritan.

Michael Bresciani, Renew America:  "Being 'left behind' doesn't strictly mean you've missed the rapture"

No, of course not.  Look at you, Michael- you were left behind when they passed out the brains.

Ellis Washington, Renew America:  "Happy 65th Birthday Justice Clarence Thomas"

Yeah.  Clarence Thomas should be happy that he is not spending his 65th birthday in prison.

World Net Daily:  "NSA has total access via your computer system"

Well, if they listen to my wife's music, I hope they remember to pay for it.  "Paul Ryan On Worst Thing About Being In Congress: People Lie To Your Face"

You sure you weren't looking in the mirror when that happened, Paul?

Stephen Green, PJ Media:  "Man of Steel: ‘I’m As American As It Gets’"

But...but Superman is an illegal immigrant.  Deal with it, Stephen.


Magpie said...

I went to check what Selwyn Duke meant by “Rise in female breadwinners means America is a loser"…

About half way down the page he writes:

“So why can't the Megyn Kellys of the world perceive the rise in female breadwinners as the warning sign it is? Because their feminist dogma teaches that any female "gain" relative to men is positive, and any criticism of it is blind male chauvinism. These are the people who cheer girls' "better" performance in schools even though this is largely attributable to boys' worsening performance (and improved female test scores aren't relevant, because the exams, like the boys, have been dumbed down).”

And that pretty much is Right wing thinking in a nutshell: ‘Any achievement by those not pre-ordained by birth to be the achievers is no achievement at all.’

So next time little Sally comes home with an A in maths she must be told “oh that’s not really that good because your brother didn’t do as well as you”.

Note title of Duke’s older article:
“The schools’ sinister war on guns”…

What a miserable jerk.

Magpie said...

He also writes:

"No, the intersex wage gap isn't a bad thing, and it isn't good when it starts to close."

Would love to see him say that on a date...