Saturday, June 8, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

A special tip of the hat to Oklahoma freshman Congressman Jim Bridenstine, who, having served a grand total of five months in Congress, feels entitled to speak as follows, as reported on the right:

"This is what real leadership looks like!! If the GOP wants America’s support again they need to begin speaking up like this freshman congressman from Oklahoma. Rep. Jim Bridenstine (R-Okla.) spoke on the House Floor yesterday and gave his review of President Obama.

Bridenstine ended by saying, “The president’s dishonesty, incompetence, vengefulness and lack of moral compass lead many to suggest that he is not fit to lead.”

He added, “The only problem is that his vice president is equally unfit and even more embarrassing.”

This, from people who are positive that the least criticism of themselves is a blatant act of treason.  I can't wait to hear more from this scum, who is apparently already positioning himself to duke it out with Louie Gohmert for the title of stupidest hater in Congress.

And I love the notion that this is what real leadership looks like- Taking difficult stands?  Putting together coalitions to pass needed legislation?  Standing up to people who are powerful, but patently wrong? Finding creative ways to address our nation's problems?  No, it consists in lying and smearing people on the floor of Congress.  That's as close to "leadership" as Republicans are capable of getting these days.  And I think we all know where this sort of thing is leading us.

Now, on we go...

 The spirit of justice:  Darrell Issa on his investigative strategy:  "As the investigator, I know where I want to get, now I'm just getting around to proving it."

This man was picked by his fellow House Republicans to be in charge of "government oversight."

Matt Barbour, Town Hall:  "Easy Fix to IRS Corruption... It’s time for a new federal “Taxpayer Bill of Rights.”  Such a bill, notes Phillips, “would codify as federal law that no IRS audit  of a person, organization or business could be conducted without first having the IRS agent to prepare an affidavit that is sworn to in front of a federal judge, federal magistrate or a tax court judge that states with specificity why there is probable cause to believe the audit will result in either the discovery of criminal activities or the discovery of civil wrong doing. It will be the functional equivalent of a search warrant.”

Or the functional equivalent of a guarantee to rich people that they can do anything they want with their money, and the country be damned.  Which do you think Matt is more interested in?

Pat Buchanan, Human Events:  "Abolish Corporate Income Tax...Since the U.S. corporate income tax now produces less than 10 percent of federal revenue and less than 2 percent of gross domestic product, abolish it. Get rid of it.

Think of it. A continent-wide nation that doesn’t tax business."


Yeah, think of it!  And then, think of a nation that doesn't tax rich people at all!  Because that's where we are heading with thinking like Pat's.  And other than causing a depression every so often, hey, what's the problem? 

Didn't you just know that in the end, all of the phony Republican scandal mongering about the IRS was going to come down to cutting taxes on the rich?  It's their solution for everything.  Always has been, always will be.  It's all they really care about.

Roger Kimball, PJ Media:  "Obama Is Not Nixon-Nixon, whatever his flaws, was a great president."


Ha ha.  What planet do these people live on, anyway?  Well, at least chalk up all the right wing stories these days about Nixon as a victory of sorts-  Reagan and Bush have become so toxic, even with the notoriously short memoried American public, that they have to go back to Nixon to claim to have found a Republican President to admire.  Nixon!  Man, that's just pathetic.

Brad Preston, PJ Media:  "Professor: What America Really Needs Now Is a Violent Civil War to Kill Off the NRA"


Well, luckily for him, that is just what the NRA is working to achieve.

And here come our typical collection of ravings from the Dumbest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "AWFUL! Plouffe Caught in More Lies – Called Issa an Arsonist Car Thief...Issa has never been found guilty of wrongdoing at any point during his career.

Unlike Barack Obama, who has been found guilty many times of being a drug addled, homosexual Marxist Muslim foreign born saboteur planted here to destroy the country.  Oh wait, he wasn't found guilty of any of those things, which Jim and so many others on the right accuse him of every single day?  Well, I'm sure that Jim is going to be apologizing to Barack any day now.  I'm holding my breath...oops, I turned blue and passed out.  Well, enough of that.

And in case you've forgotten, Issa escaped conviction on the car theft charges by blaming it all on his brother. Another example of the vaunted leadership Republicans hold in such high esteem.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "John Kerry Praises New UN Gun Treaty – Could Lead to National Registry"

Yeah, and it could lead to an attack by monkey people from Mars too.  In fact, since the language of the UN gun treaty specifically excludes the imposition of gun registries, and does not exclude monkey attacks from Mars, which the drafters of the treaty mysteriously failed to consider,  I would say that monkey attacks from Mars are even more likely than a gun registry if this treaty is approved.  Undoubtedly the work of George Soros, who probably is a monkey person from Mars.

And Another Scandal Going Nowhere:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Government Gone Wild… Former EPA Administrator Awarded Family Dog With Training Certificates"

The horror!  She gave her dog a certificate!  It declared him to be a “scholar of ethical behavior!"  More hearings, right now! And forever!!!  This is the one that is going to bring down Obama!

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Al-Qaeda Chief Warns of More Bomb Attacks in America Like the Boston Marathon Bombings"

An Al-Qaida "chief" none of us has ever heard of!  And he held a press conference!  Start urinating in your pants, Republicans; this is so scary!!!

World Net Daily:  "Slouching toward a military junta...Exclusive: Joseph Farah warns of growing federal influence over local law enforcement"

Oh my God, Republicans, what are you going to do to protect yourselves now, since you already involuntarily evacuated your bladders over the last story?  Wait- don't answer that.  I don't want to know.  Just do it on your own couch, not mine.

World Net Daily:  "'Big mistake' for Israel to downplay missiles to Syria"

This from John Bolton, who has been catastrophically wrong about every single foreign policy issue since he first started opening his big mouth about a thousand years ago.  Much better, in Bolton's opinion, to start a bloody, unwinnable war, while he sits here, ten thousand miles away, in perfect safety.
Really, does this guy have a clue how stupid he looks?

And while we are on the subject, may I remind you that this quintessential warmonger evaded service of his own during Vietnam, saying:  "I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy."  One more in the Republican party's infinite supply of armchair John Waynes, trying to pay off their own cowardice in other people's blood.

World Net Daily:  "Christian exodus from Boy Scouts begins"

'Bye!

And Oh my God, here's a pathetic attempt to explain away the Republicans' utter failure to find a thing Obama actually did that was wrong, after years of searching for scandals:

Herbert E. Meyer, American Thinker:  "The Smoking Gun in Plain Sight...As the Obama administration descends into a whirlpool of scandals, a race has begun among Congressional committees and news organizations to find the proverbial smoking gun...Study history, and you will understand why no such document is ever likely to be found: That just isn't how these things work.  Very few people are aware of this, but there is no document -- not one -- linking Adolf Hitler to the Holocaust."

Yes, just because Republicans can't produce one shred of real evidence for the literally hundreds of smears that they have launched toward Obama, well, that means nothing!  Because, Hitler!  Hitler!!!  Hitler wouldn't admit that he had committed any crimes either!!!  So, Obama is guilty of everything!

Herbert continues (after a lot of idiotic maundering which I will not force down your throats):

"This is the United States in 2013, not Germany in 1933, and there's no real possibility that President Obama will get away with his attempted coup d'etat."

Of course, there is no question that he is actually attempting one.  Needless to say, he isn't, but that's just a minor detail, I guess.

Noah Beck, American Thinker:  "Why Iranian Elections Won't Matter this Time...Thanks to Obama"

God, everything is his fault.  What, did he trick the Iranians into nominating Romney too?

James Lewis, American Thinker:  "Like Watergate, Benghazi has several layers. But the most revealing one is the active collusion between this administration and Al Qaida."

Yes, you read that right- the Obama administration is colluding with Al Qaida to destroy Western civilization.  It's okay for Republicans to say things like that, but listen to the screams of bloody murder when someone suggests that Karl Rove perjured himself when he claimed to be running a social welfare organization, to avoid paying taxes.

James continues:

"Obama only bows down to Third World reactionaries.  That is consistent with his extreme leftist ideology."

Does this jackass have any knowledge of the fact that reactionaries are the exact opposite of leftists, and are the prime target of "leftist ideology?"  Well, yeah, of course he knows that.  He doesn't care.  He's just putting together a bunch of scary words to frighten the rubes out of more of their money, and so far, it's worked out pretty well.

Rick Moran, American Thinker:  "Issa claims tea party targeting probably directed from Washington...Why wasn't this info in the IG report?"

Well, maybe because there isn't a shred of evidence to back up this manufactured lie.  Do you think that might be the reason?  Nah, it must be some sort of Communist conspiracy.

Rick Moran, American Thinker:  "IRS spent $50 million on conferences over the last two years...You don't have to try very hard to connect the two scandals."

No, not when you've had so much practice connecting Communists and Muslims, and convincing yourself that global warming is some sort of conspiracy involving ten thousand scientists, and that Obama's coming to take your guns any day now.  You don't have to try very hard when the only thing necessary to convince you of anything is that it provides an opportunity to vent your hatred in public.

John Hawkins, Town Hall:  "5 Lies the Democrats Told To Sell Obamacare"

Let's have some fun and see if we can guess what the Democrats' lies are are without even reading the article.  Here's my guess:

1. People actually like having health care.  Nonsense.  Because, FREEDOM!
2.  It's better to be healthy than to be sick.  Only if you are rich.  If you are poor, it's better to be sick, so you can just lay around on your butt all day, enjoying the luxuries you can buy on food stamps.
3.  Poor people feel just as bad when they get sick as rich people.  Poor people don't have very well developed feelings- more like slugs and cockroaches than real Americans.
4.  Caring about how other people feel is American.  In fact, caring about other people is Communism, as any good wingnut knows.
5.  People have rights too, not just corporations.  Not while Republicans control the courts, buddy.

There, how do you think I did?

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "How Obama Gets Us to Forget His Failure in Afghanistan...In the course of his rambling monologue on national security policy delivered at the National Defense University, President Obama gave only glancing attention to the most significant military undertaking of his term in office -- the Afghanistan war."

"Tthe most significant military undertaking of his term in office -- the Afghanistan war." The Afghanistan war is Obama's undertaking.  The audacity is stunning.  I guess these people have really forgotten about their own President, just a few years ago.  There really is no lie so big or so obvious that Republicans won't fall for it.

Charles Payne, Town Hall:  "In Real Life Tortoises Sleep and Eat All Day"

Really, Charles?  Man, that's interesting.  What a life.  Sounds great to me.  Well, thanks for the information.

Now, the dumbest bit of projection I've ever heard:

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "The Left's New Scandal Strategy: Attack, Attack, Attack"


The left?  That's the left's new strategy?  While the right is acting so reasonable and friendly and all?  Man, Guy, can't you come up with better lies than that in exchange for the wingnut welfare that pays your bills?

And another chapter of Scandals Going Nowhere:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "BUSTED: Top IRS Commissioner Played Dr. Spock in IRS Star Trek Video...IRS Small Business & Self-Employed Division Commissioner Faris Fink admitted today at the House Oversight Committee Hearing that he indeed starred in the IRS Star Trek video as Dr. Spock."

And here he is- not too bad for government work

The horror!  A government employee dressed up like Spock!  How will our FREEDOM ever survive?  And while we are on the subject, that's MR. Spock, not DOCTOR Spock, you brain dead idiot.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Franklin Graham: I Wrote Obama About Being Targeted By IRS – But Never Heard Back From Him "

Unlike your father, who got to sit around the Oval Office with Nixon, swapping antisemitic stories.  You must feel so neglected, Franklin.  Why not go to your room and have a good cry?

Joseph Farah, World Net Daily:  "Seminal moment: Obama loses N.Y. Times"

Maybe he left it on the bus.  Oh well, another one tomorrow.

Star Parker, World Net Daily:  "End Social Security and start over... Time to change system 'into a real retirement investment program'

You mean it's time that people just forget about what would have happened the last time you guys tried to ram this idea down our throats?  Actually, Star didn't quite spell out the whole idea.  It's "End Social Security, steal all the money, and then start over...suckers."

World Net Daily:  "N.Y. Times tweaks damning editorial"

The horror!  The editors of the New York Times edited their editorial!  How dare editors edit their editorials?  Editing isn't their job, no! Don't they understand that real journalists just think of any lie they can imagine and keep repeating it until doomsday?


Which it already is, at least for this edition of Wingnut Wrapup. 

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