Monday, November 19, 2012

Wingnut Wrapup


Let's just start out with the dumbest fucking thing ever said in the entire history of the human race:

Jane Chastain, World Net Daily:  "Evangelicals put Obama over the top"

Man.  That's all I can say.  Jane probably thinks the Cubs won the World Series, too.


Now, the Free Market At Work:
You go, guy.  We'll buy our P226's from someone else.

Michael Reagan, Town Hall:  "But the most important Republican who didn't turn out to support Romney this fall was George W. Bush.  You can make an honest argument that G.W. was as much to blame as anyone else for our being unable to defeat an incompetent incumbent of historic proportions...He didn't show up at the GOP convention. He didn't become an enthusiastic surrogate for Romney in a handful of swing states where a few hundred thousand more Republican voters could have changed history. He didn't stump for senatorial candidates in contested states such as Virginia and Montana.  G.W., the ex-cheerleader, was nowhere to be seen or heard during Romney's campaign."

Because if only George W. Bush had gotten out there and reminded people of what happened during his administration, Romney would have won.  These people  can convince themselves of anything to avoid facing reality.

Bryan Preston, PJ Media:  "Obama's Ridiculous Damsel in Distress Act Signals a Nasty Second Term...It also signals that Obama will use every weapon at hand to get his way."


The fact that the Republican party still exists signals a nasty second term.  And isn't it interesting that the President is committing a miserable act of dishonesty by using every weapon at hand to accomplish his objectives.  No, only Republicans have a right to accomplish their objectives, not Kenyan Communist Muslim usurpers.

Michael Walsh, PJ Media:  "Will a Sleazy Sex Story Lead the MSM to Obama's Watergate?"

No, Michael, it wont.  "Obama's Watergate" doesn't exist.  Boy, it didn't take long after the election for you to retreat into your bubble of delusion.  Have a nice time there the next four years.  I don't think it's going to be that nice for you out here in the fact based world.

Tom Blumer, PJ Media:  "Obama's Dangerous Second Term...The nightmare has already begun."

It has?  I missed it.  Oh, you mean the nightmare of health care and of dealing with climate change.  If that's your idea of a nightmare, I should tell you about the dream I once had about Cthulhu.  Now that was a nightmare.  He ran for Joe Lieberman's old seat with money from the Koch brothers.  Luckily, he lost the evangelical vote because he didn't care about gay marriage (since he intended to eat the entire human race) so he lost, and instead the American people got one more weak kneed corporate liberal, which in today's America counts as a huge victory.

Fred Hutchison, Renew America:  "A battle of orthodoxies and the right to life"


Oh...excuse me.  I thought it said "a battle of orthodontists."  Now, that would be interesting.  More interesting than what Fred had to say, anyway.

Clenard Childress, Renew America:  "What America has left behind...This is The Urban Prophet's translation of II Chronicles 7:14 for America today as we ponder our present state of affairs.

"If my people which are called by My Name, will stop worrying about government providing for them and taking thought about provision, I have already promised them and begin to walk in and stand for righteousness, I have already given them, then, I will forgive them of their insecurity, I will repair their broken economy, I will restore their prosperity, and heal their land."

Right.  Either expect our government to function, or just give all our taxes to rich people, and wait for God to balance the budget.  Man, that is a tough choice.

Gina Miller, Renew America:  "According to the World English Dictionary, the French term coup d'état means "a sudden violent or illegal seizure of government." The federal government of the United States of America has been seized by enemy forces from within our nation....this seizure has been illegal from top to bottom. Since the likely ineligible candidate Barack Obama (or whatever his name is) was installed in our presidency back in January 2009, this takeover has rapidly infected every area of our government and military. It is being run by a Communist-Islamist axis of like-minded, anti-American subversives."

When Democrats win an election, it is a coup.  Man, someone got out of bed on the wrong side today.

And, still wondering what to expect from the Republicans in the next four years?

Kevin Fobbs, Renew America:  "The blame game now clearly stops squarely at Obama's desk in the Oval Office, or at least until he is impeached or convicted."

Notice that Kevin doesn't even consider the possibility that Obama will finish his four year term and retire.  I'm just surprised that Kevin didn't include in his list of possible ends to Obama's Presidency that he would be assassinated by a freedom loving patriot.

Jonah Goldberg, Town Hall:  "I Think I Owe an Apology to George W. Bush."

Jonah, you owe an apology to the whole world.  How about starting with every liberal on earth, all of whom were victims of your nauseating smear that Nazis were left wing.

Peter Ferrara, Town Hall:  "It’s Economic Growth, Not Redistribution, that Lifts Everyone, Including the Poor"

Yeah?  You mean the kind of economic "growth" that the Bush administration brought us?  I'll tell you what, buddy- I won't be happy until the rich bastards who caused our economic collapse and are still trying to rob us blind are all living in refrigerator boxes and panhandling for enough money to buy a bottle of white port.  Call that vengeance?  No, it's self protection.

And now, a grand theory of why Obama is supposedly lying about Benghazi:

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "Who Is Responsible for Benghazi?  Consider this possibility … the talking points came from the CIA, and they were altered by the campaign people in Chicago. The coverup has been about hiding the sharing of classified information with campaign officials who don’t have the proper clearance...What may emerge is a kind of government by cabal, a super-government composed of David Axelrod, Valerie Jarrett, Eric Holder, and possibly a few others who operated, in the service of the president, above and beyond our legal and constitutional systems — all the time thinking what they did was for the better good of our country."

Need I point out that there is not one shred of evidence to support this "possibility," other than the fact the previous Republican administrations did exactly this sort of thing, at which point it was not a problem to people like Roger?

Comment to a post on World Net Daily:  "I bet there will be 115 million deaths in the USA alone due to 0bummer's gun control by 2014...There are liberals pretty much everywhere these days,and what makes it even worst they're not like arabs where you can just look at them and know they are up to no good.. some liberals look just like regular people."

115 million deaths- that's over twice what happened in World War II.  Man, the next four years are going to be painful.  And damn those liberals for looking just like human beings.

John Ransome, Town Hall:  "In Four More Years We'll Be Detroit...If at a time when automakers are trumpeting record-setting sales, record profits, record bonuses for their employees, how is it possible that the community at-large is not reaping any of the benefit?"

Hey, the first time in the history of the world that a Republican claimed to be upset about the bosses taking all of the money!  Of course, that's only because he is lying- tens of thousands of Detroit area residents still have jobs thanks to the auto bailout, and more are being added.  But hey, pretending you care...that's bound to be the Republicans' answer to getting beat in the election.

And now, a rather extended excerpt from an execrable article by the miserable apologist for child rapists, Kathryn Lopez:  

"Before there were houses in this land, there were altars." A timelier reminder you could not get, as we confront realities about immigration and secularization in the United States. It's a point made by the Archbishop of Los Angeles, Jose H. Gomez, as he tries to morally educate, animate, and challenge.

Gomez promotes learning the entire story behind our country's founding. "Immigrant missionaries were naming this continent's rivers and mountains and territories for saints, sacraments and articles of the faith," as he put it in a speech to the Napa Institute last summer.

"Catholics founded America's oldest settlement, in St. Augustine, Fla., in 1565," he said. Catholic missionaries and explorers were there before the Pilgrims, George Washington and the rest of our familiar founding figures."

Before there were houses:

Well, as long as you don't count certain kinds of people as real human beings, I guess.  I guess the above is a picture of some sort of animal den, since it predates St. Augustine by several hundred years, and is therefore not a "settlement."

Lloyd Marcus, American Thinker:  "Shopping for salad stuff in Walmart, I focused on a sign -- "Gold Bell Peppers $1.68 each."  To my surprise, I became extremely angry.  As absurd as it sounds, $1.68 for one bell pepper was the straw that broke the camel's back.  It epitomized my frustration and anger over the idiocy of Obama voters.  Why in the world would they allow Obama to continue destroying our country?"

Lloyd, apparently this never occurred to you, but the free market sets the price of gold bell peppers, not Obama.  The free market.  That's what you should be angry about, but you are too stupid and filled with hate to see what is right in front of your face.

Lloyd goes on to rave about he never wants to hear members of his family that voted for Obama to ever talk to him again about Jesus Christ.  Apparently, Jesus also has something to do with the price of gold bell peppers.  You know what?  I bet there are members of Lloyd's family that pray to Jesus Christ every day that Lloyd never speak to them again about anything.  That makes more sense than the notion that Barack Obama is overcharging for vegetables.

Paul Murphy, American Thinker:  "Did Obama Cheat? How to Answer the Question"

By saying "no."  That's how to answer the question, not by retreating even farther into your cocoon of delusion.  Time to grow up, Paul, or else row to the side of the river and let the ship of state pass you by.

And now, another sterling example of election analysis from the right:

Cindy Simpson, American Thinker:  "Obama won not because conservatism is wrong or archaic.  He won because he managed to organize motley crews having vastly different motivations and backgrounds into a Frankenstein-ish voting majority.  Obama's script was dedicated not to a hero of community service, but rather to the master of community organizing -- the king of bogeymen, Lucifer himself.

Frankenstein.  Yes, it was like Frankenstein's monster when a majority of Americans decided not to do what Cindy wanted them to, and voted for Lucifer.  We can only pray the people like Cindy keep thinking exactly the way they are now, so that in a couple of decades, the Republican party will be deader than the Bullmoose party.  That will be a great day for America.

American Thinker, the source of the above, has five major articles up today about how Obama won the election through fraud and corruption.  This seems to be the narrative that wingnuts are settling on.  It is, after all, the only explanation they can find in which they bear not one shred of blame, and have not one shred of need to rethink their positions.  Well, what do you expect?

And now for something which almost strains credibility to believe that it is not a mockery of right wingers:

John Hinderaker, Powerline:  "If you know who Kim Kardashian is, you probably don’t have a very high opinion of her. I know more than most about the Kardashians because my daughters are fans of their reality TV show, and over the years I have sometimes walked into a room when they had the Kardashian sisters on... If Barack Obama knew as much about business as Kim Kardashian does, or far that matter worked as hard, he would be a much better president."

If Barack only knew as much, or worked as hard as Kim Kardashian.  Man, there has got to be a special place in Hell for people who say things like this.  Unfortunately, until they get there, we're stuck with them.

3 comments:

Poll P. said...

What a loverly bunch of coco-nuts!

BB-Idaho said...

Heard from a number of evangelicals that voted for Obama.
The constant GOP harrangue from the pulpit wasn't enough because some of the sheeple actually preferred healthcare, education and a sane foreign policy.
..sorry Ralph Reed-thinking trumps
holy $$$.

Green Eagle said...

The religious pressure doesn't seem to have worked for the Catholic Church either- particularly in Hispanic churches the priests put heavy pressure on their congregants to vote Republican, but they don't seem to have taken their instructions this time.