Wingnut Wrapup

Long time Wingnut Wrapup readers (if there are any, which I doubt...) may have noticed that it's getting longer and longer between editions.  As election season gets under way, I'm afraid that right wingers have gotten so vicious that it's hard to find much humor there.  The lies and the smears are the same, but they are so filled with bitterness and antagonism that I can't imagine anyone finding them amusing.  So, here's the best of a bad crop from the last couple of weeks.  I don't expect that this is going to get any easier before November, sad to say:

Star Parker, Town Hall:  "Barack Obama won 95 percent of the black vote and 67 percent of the Hispanic vote in 2008 – is there anything Republicans can do to turn around what seems to be an inevitable train wreck for their Party?"

Yeah, Star.  Republicans could stop being a pack of racist slime.  Fat chance of that, huh?

Katie Kieffer, Town Hall:  "Christ recognized as “good” a legitimate form of human government that espouses freedom, private property rights and representative authority. So, if you call yourself a Christian (as President Obama does) then I think you must also be a capitalist."

God in heaven above, capitalism didn't exist until about 1500 years after Christ.  Can there be anything more pathetic on the face of the earth than people that lie about their own God?  And "private property rights?"  Nothing Jesus cared about more than cutting the estate tax and doing away with zoning restrictions.  What a bunch of asses, huh?

Steve Maley, Red State:  "Fracking is Blamed for … Well, Everything, Really."

Wrong, Steve.  Fracking is not blamed for wingnuts like you being so damned dumb.  You get the credit for that all by yourselves.  Unless someone's been pumping oilfield waste into your brains.  You know, now that I think about it, maybe that is the explanation.

David Limbaugh, Renew America:  "Ousting Obamacare would protect us"

From what?  Health?

John Ransom, Town Hall:  "Obama's War on Women Continues"

OBAMA's war on women.  What can you say?  John explains his "point:"

"The number one enemy of women’s health is a poor economy, and when it comes to the economy, Democrats are responsible for the worst recovery since the Great Depression."

Of course, John forgets to mention who was responsible for causing the worst economic collapse since the great depression.  Hint: it was the same party as in 1929.

Dr,. Ingrid Rimland Zundel, Veterans Today:  "Notwithstanding the inability of Adolf Hitler to permanently liberate Europe, it behooves us to appreciate that what he achieved was not done in vain."

Thanks for your insight into twentieth century history, Dr. Ingrid.  I'm sure you know how much we all appreciate your promoting your views.


Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Sarah Palin on Hilary Rosen’s Attacks on Ann Romney: “We Will Be Silent No More!”

Sarah, when were you ever silent?

Kevin Glass, Town Hall:  "Democrat-Led Senate Planning Buffett Rule Vote"

The horror!  The abuse of the Constitution!  The Democrats are using their majority status in the Senate to introduce a bill!  How dare they!

Douglas McKinnon, Town Hall:  "At what point in a nation where approximately 80% of the citizens identify themselves as "Christians" will Christian candidates defend themselves and their faith from the bigoted and deliberate smears of far-left journalists?"

At such a point, I expect, that anything like that actually happens. 

A. J. DeCinto, Renew America:  "The most frighteningly monstrous vampire squid"

Just thought I would bring you a new high (low?) in metaphors for Barack.

Ann Coulter, Town Hall:  "Negroes With Guns"

No, really.  She actually wrote a column titled "Negroes with Guns."  What can you say?  Here's some more of Ann's historical wisdom:

"For more than a hundred years, Republicans have aggressively supported arming blacks, so they could defend themselves against Democrats. "

Oh, okay then.  I never knew that, Ann.  So when you racist right wingers scream your heads off about violent black crime, it's all your own fault, right?

Town Hall:  "Secret Service calls Nugent over anti-Obama screed..."We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November," Nugent said of the Obama administration.  He also included a cryptic pronouncement: "If Barack Obama becomes the next president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year...Nugent said he was simply trying to galvanize voters."

Simply trying to galvanize voters...galvanize them to do what, kill Obama?

Daniel J. Flynn, Renew America:  "Imagine no income tax"

Imagine no roads.  Imagine no police and firemen.  Imagine no schools.  Sound good so far?  I could keep going here.

Karin McQuillan, Renew America:  "What President in his right mind would authorize an attack on any mom as a woman who "never worked a day in her life"?

Well, probably none, and since Hillary Rosen was not an Obama campaign worker, but a CNN employee who likely conspired with her fellow miserable worm Wolf Blitzer to fabricate a phony controversy, certainly not this one.  Here's a question for Karin, however:  what Presidential candidate would ask for an endorsement from a guy with a history of making death threats against Democrats, and then ignore the whole thing when that jackass threatened the life of our current President?

Drew Zahn, World Net Daily:  "Campus Christians forced to accept Muslim leaders?  Christian students at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., are fighting an administration policy that dictates “all comers” be eligible for leadership in student organizations, even if they don’t share the groups’ faith.  In fact, under the policy put into effect earlier this year, campus groups’ leadership requirements can no longer “discriminate” on race, faith, gender or sexual orientation"

The horror.

Michael Barone, Town Hall:  "I don't know how many times I've seen liberal commentators look back with nostalgia to the days when a young man fresh out of high school or military service could get a well-paying job on an assembly line at a unionized auto factory that could carry him through to a comfortable retirement.

As it happens, I grew up in Detroit and for a time lived next door to factory workers. And I know something that has eluded the liberal nostalgiacs. Which is that people hated those jobs.  The assembly-line work was boring and repetitive."

Not quite as boring as losing your home and starving to death, but still...

Andrea Ryan, Gateway Pundit:  "Nugent Exercises His First Amendment Right… Army Soldiers Get Punished"

Punished?  PUNISHED?  You call it punished when they don't have to listen to a loudmouthed has-been who hasn't had a hit in forty years?  They should count themselves lucky.

Madeline Crabb, Renew America:  "It is clear that our federal government is hell-bent on equalizing the playing field between what they call the rich and poor."

Will the abominations never cease!

World Net Daily:  "WASHINGTON – Most Americans don’t even realize how truly devastating the 9/11 attacks were to the U.S. beyond the lives lost and property damaged.  The terrorists set off a chain of events that led directly to the economic crises the country has been battling ever since, including the stock market crash of 2008 – seven years later."

See, it wasn't Bush's fault after all!  It was all the terrists!

Thomas Lifson, American Thinker:  "Was Michelle Obama behind Hilary Rosen's attack on Ann Romney?...behind the scenes, her fingerprints were all over the scandal, said an inside source.  This is a very entertaining theory, and seems plausible."

"Seems plausible" in this case, of course, being Conservative talk for "I don't have one shred of evidence that this could possibly be true, but it's a good lie, so here I am to tell it."