Sunday, September 25, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

You know, politics in this country has come down to nothing but a vain attempt to combat the evil lunacy of the right.  I've come to hate a lot of what I read from the right (well, okay, I always hated it) but it's what our country is about today, so here's another load:

Town Hall:  "Perry Present Favorite Among Florida Republicans"

That would be the people who elected a convicted criminal to be their governor.  Oh yeah, we should pay a lot of attention to what they think.  Anyway, Town Hall was wrong.  It turns out they liked the pizza guy better.  Go figure.

Steve Chapman, Town Hall:  "The Wrong Way To Help the Unemployed"

Oh, you already know what that is.  It's anything that makes corporations do anything they don't want to.

Barry Rubin, Pajamas Media:  "Obama's Dangerous and Incompetent Middle East Policy"

Yes, a total failure that has only seen the removal of two long-time dictators in Middle Eastern countries at practically no cost to us and without making the rest of the world hate us.  Compare that to the mighty success George W. Bush gave us Iraq, at a paltry cost of two trillion dollars.  Now, there is some really great Middle East policy, yes sir!

Abraham H. Miller, Pajamas Media:  "Rising Tide of Anti-Semitism Is Finally Pushing Jews to the Right "

Right, because all Jews know that there is no such thing as right wing antisemitism:

And now, another in the Republican supply of Scandals that Aint Going Nowhere:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "YES IT’S REAL – Obama Waves During Pictures at the United Nations …Here’s the Video...OMG. What an embarrassment."

Yes, our President waved while someone was taking a picture of him.  The disgrace!

Cynthia Janak, Renew America:  "Talking about the HPV vaccine is now called fear mongering and morally indefensible"

Not TALKING about it, Cynthia, LYING about it.  That's what we are calling morally indefensible.  A little difference there.  Think about it.

World Net Daily Exclusive:  "Woman sues state over mandatory 'mark of the beast'

That would be the requirement to have her picture taken for her driver's license.  Lady, I hate to break it to you, but that lawsuit ain't going anywhere.  Boy, you can sure see why stories like this are "exclusive" to World Net Daily.

Randall Hoven, American Thinker:  "You might be a stupid idiot, like me. At least I must be a stupid idiot, since I'm called that quite often. You see, I have doubts about some things. Things like catastrophic, man-caused global warming"

Hey, you know what, Randall?  You're right- you ARE a stupid idiot.  Happy now?

Jay Haug, American Thinker:  "Why Liberals Love Compromise"

Because they're decent people, and not a bunch of racist, greedy dicks like you guys?  That's my guess, anyway.

Sissy Willis, SISU:  ""It was one of those great, only-in-America Judeo-Christian moments," Senator Joe Lieberman told a delighted American Enterprise Institute audience yesterday evening, retelling the tale of a fateful meeting between him and Sarah Palin on the eve of her vice-presidential debate with Joe Biden October 2, 2008"

Oh God, don't make me vomit.

Paul A. Rahe, Ricochet:  "Is Herman Cain Vice Presidential Timber?"

No, but he might make a good White House pizza chef.

Diane Ellis, Ricochet:  "What If the Marines Opened Up Recruitment to Gays and No One Showed Up?

Boy, I guess that would make you people feel pretty silly for spending twenty years screaming about how gays would destroy the military, huh? 

Aleister, Big Government:  "Libertarians Have One Choice in November:  Vote Republican"

No, Aleister, they have another choice:  they could grow up.

Dan Mitchell, Big Government:  "New Rankings from Economic Freedom of the World Reveal Dismal Impact of Bush-Obama Statism"

Good point there, Dan.  And Dan has the chart to prove it, too:

See?  Point proven!....Wait a minute....this chart ends in 2009.  Now hold on...Wasn't that the year something important happened?  Oh yeah, that's the year Obama became President.  So actually, it only covers Bush's time in office.  That Obama...just like the Shadow, I guess he had the power to cloud men's minds, even before he was president.  Although, clouding Bush's mind wouldn't stand as much of an accomplishment.

Mark Flatten, Big Government:  "Taxpayers Foot the Bill for Government Union Work"

Horrible! And here, I thought government employees worked for free.

And now, let's take a look at some classic right wing "humor:"

No mention, of course, that the current Federal tax rate is the lowest since 1950, or that Rick Perry paid for Texas' $17 billion deficit with Federal stimulus money.  Oh well, what's the difference?  Rick Perry seems to be history now, just like all of the other Republican saviors we've seen this year.

Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee:  "Liberals Love Cop Killers"

Well, thanks for keeping it simple, Bob.

Jim Hoft,  Gateway Pundit:  "Bluff Called… Republicans Demand Buffett’s Tax Returns"

Actually, Jim, he released them a long time ago.  Deal with it.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Another shining moment in the history of American liberalism...Bristol Palin was out with friends at a bar recently. After she fell off a mechanical bull some leftist screams, “Your mother’s a whore. Did you ride Levi like that?”

Because there's nowhere you are more likely to find a liberal than in a bar with a mechanical bull.

Christopher Cantrill, American Thinker:  "Is America Ready for a Christian President?"

Because we've never had one.  The were ALL Muslims, I guess.  Except for Ronald Reagan, of course.  And Nixon.

God, it never stops, huh?


Poll P. said...

Ha-ha. Mechanical Bull is of course the best story, and a pretty good description of Republican talking points.

mastercynic said...

My question is: if you raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money?

Green Eagle said...

Maybe just to spite us. Hell hath no fury like a CEO scorned.