Sunday, September 27, 2015

Wingnut Wrapup

Today's Wingnut Wrapup respectfully dedicated to Sarah Palin, who had the unmitigated gall to make the following claim:

"Palin also disagreed with a recent statement by South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, who said last week that the Republican Party "often appears cold and unwelcoming to minorities." 

"I can't think of any Republican that I know who would have that in their heart," Palin said. The Republican party "... is the party that would wish to bring people in together, standing together, putting America first, even in terms of the culture, accepting people's differences and the diverse views and everything else, because we have common sense driving our party," she said.

I'd spend the whole rest of this post trying to unpack the delusions and lies contained in that last paragraph, so let's just continue with some more right wing delusion, before I fall into a coma:

Rev. Mark H. Creech, Renew America:  "The Christian work ethic is greatly needed in our day. It alone can guarantee a vibrant and ever-growing economy. It alone can deliver us from the overwhelming burden of the welfare ranks. It alone can deliver one from labor endured only for the sake of a wage. It alone can produce the kind of conviction needed to restore pride in workmanship, rather than just concerns with a bottom line. It alone can generate honest workers. Able to alter even the most menial task into a royal act, it alone results in a joyous consummation to life."

"It alone can deliver one from labor endured only for the sake of a wage. It alone can produce the kind of conviction needed to restore pride in workmanship..."

Not, say, being treated fairly by our employer, instead of just being reduced to one more commodity to squeeze dry and discard, or having a job that allows us to use our creative skills to make a product that we believe in.  No, all it takes is the "Christian work ethic;" i.e. a willingness to allow ourselves to be exploited our whole lives by the rich, in return for the promises contained in a fairy tale.

And while we are on the subject of work:

Jerry Newcombe, Renew America:  "Is work a curse or a gift?"

Sort of depends on what work it is, don't you think, dumbass?  For instance, this work is pretty much a curse:



While this work is what I would call a gift:



See, Jerry, easy answers to easy (but stupid) questions.  What I wonder is why those people in the first picture didn't have the sense to buy a Telecaster when they were young and start learning a few Muddy Waters tunes.

Right, now an entry into the competition for scandals that ain't gonna happen:

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "WashPost: Clintons Used Their Own Cash To Pay State Department Staffer For Server Maintenance"

The horror!  The Clintons paid for something themselves!  Can we impeach her before she is elected?

John C. Goodman, Town Hall:  "Why Raising the Minimum Wage is a Bad Idea"

Because it leaves less for the Waltons and the Koch brothers?  That's my guess.  Oh wait- that's only part of John's thinking:

"Wages are not a gift"

And if a rich guy pays workers one cent more than the minimum he has to, if he doesn't want to have them slit his throat, that is a gift, which they most definitely don't deserve.

"Also, economists know there is no free lunch. If one person has a gain – in the absence of any increased production — someone else must endure a loss."

Sort of gives the lie to the trickle-down theory, huh?

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Australian Actor Who Stars as Christian Football Coach in ‘Woodlawn’ Tackles US Race Relations"

Oh God, no.

Tyler O'Neil, PJ Media:  "Forget What You’ve Heard: Republicans Have the Demographic Edge for 2016"

Brought to you by the same people who correctly predicted that Mitt would win in a landslide.

Bridget Johnson, PJ Media:  "Ohio GOPs to Obama: President McKinley’s Legacy ‘Tarnished’ for ‘Political Stunt’

McKinley's legacy tarnished?  Among who? The American people, not one of whom in a thousand could tell you a thing about him?

By the way, McKinley's "legacy" seems to involve starting and winning the Spanish-American war, one of the great imperialist acts in our history, raising tariffs (perhaps a good thing) and insisting on sticking to the gold standard.  We wouldn't want to "tarnish" that magnificent legacy, would we?

Town Hall:  "Courting unions on Labor Day, Obama pushes paid sick leave"

Because a) only union workers care about paid sick leave, and b) it is deeply disturbing to have a politician courting unions on labor day.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "Kim Davis is Rosa Parks"

No she's not.  She's the bus driver that wouldn't let Rosa Parks sit in the front of the bus.

World Net Daily EXCLUSIVE!  "Obama's 'dark, Machiavellian' politics to sink Hillary"

This article presents the thesis, from a Fox news reporter, that, despite every appearance to the contrary, it is in fact not the Republicans, but Barack Obama who is behind the years of smears against Hillary Clinton.  Now, why would he do this?

"...he is not a Democrat...He is a Marxist revolutionary who has used the Democratic Party as a vehicle to get elected to import his revolution straight into the United States directly from the White House."

Oh, now I understand it.  Amazing too, since the persecution of Hillary dates from at least 1991, the year Obama graduated from law school, at the age of 30.  What a laser-like focus he had, even then.  And with eight years to import his revolution, he did nothing until the last year, when he decided to sabotage the Democratic candidate for President.  How is that supposed to import Marxism?  Who knows?

And now, the Christian response to the current Middle Eastern refugee crisis:

Donna Edmunds, Breitbart:  "Churches have responded by vowing to “welcome refugees”, citing Matthew 25:35-41, in which Jesus said “for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me … Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”
Seems a pretty open and shut case, right? Aren’t we always reminded as Christians that we should never simply walk by on the other side?  However, nothing is simply black and white. All solutions have pros and cons. 1 Corinthians 10 reminds us: “Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.”

See, what Jesus says seems one hundred percent clear, but if you only look at things from the "mature" right wing Christian viewpoint, you will understand that the right thing to do is to kick these people in the teeth, let them starve, and get back to worrying about gay marriage and teaching kids about evolution.  Just like with the Constitution, there are parts of the Bible written in invisible ink that only right wingers can read.

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Rude Dem Reps Call Pro-life Witness 'Remarkably Ignorant'

It is rude to tell the truth.  This occurred at a Republican Congressional "Hearing" entitled " “Planned Parenthood Exposed: Examining the Horrific Abortion Practices at the Nation's Largest Abortion Provider."   The horrific abortion practice,  of course, are totally fictitious, and are based on lying videos produced by right wing thugs.  The hearing was packed with anti-abortion lunatics, but Planned Parenthood was not allowed to appear.  So much for trying to find the truth.

John Stossel, Town Hall:  "I'm upset that the presidential candidates, all of them, rarely mention a huge problem: the quiet cancer that kills opportunity -- regulation."

More for billionaires!  Less for everyone else!  More stock market crashes!  More crooked real estate companies! Less health care! More pollution! More money in elections!  More global warming!  Less Social Security!  More people in jail!  Less people in school!  Yeah, I agree, John.  Why aren't more candidates running on that platform?  Particularly because, if they are Republicans, that's exactly what they are going to do if they get elected.

Paul Greenberg, Town Hall:  "A Mountain Disappears...Poor old William McKinley, 25th president of the United States and today's Forgotten Man, is the latest victim of the country's rage for identity politics."
No mention of the many mountains in West Virginia, Kentucky and a couple of other States, that really have disappeared, in pursuit of the Republican goal of letting a few people make as much money as possible from the dirtiest source of energy in the world.



Still there.



Not there any more.  See the difference?

Lloyd Marcus, Renew America:  "Jail time for Christians: no longer a hypothesis"

Lloyd, there are millions of people in jail in the U.S. and practically all of them are Christians. Forgot about that, huh?  Or are you saying that we only have the right to demand that non-Christians follow the law?  In which case, there are a lot of gang guys waiting in line to get out.

Michael Bresciani, Renew America:  "Will Congress awake before every Christian in America is arrested?"

I didn't know Congress was asleep.  I thought the Republicans in Congress were all running for President.

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "Contrary To What Her Aides Say, Hillary Continues To Joke About Private Email Server"

Well, this pretty well shows how bankrupt Hillary's e-mail scandal is, by this point- the only thing wrong is that she is joking about it.

And never let a good lie fade away:

John Ransome, Town Hall:  "Turns out too, since the Defense Department is now giving out Purple Hearts to soldiers who were exposed to Saddam’s WMDs, that oh yeah, there were chemical weapons in Iraq— including sarin nerve gas— which could now be in the hands of insurgents like ISIS."

The purple hearts were for a few soldiers exposed to traces of nerve gas while cleaning up some shells left from the first gulf war, and which were totally useless as weapons (this gas has a functional life of about five years.)  Needless to say, they would be of no value to ISIS or anyone else.  Saddam had no WMD's in 2002, and no plans to get them.  This all from a boilerplate article blaming Obama and Jimmy Carter for Bush's disaster in Iraq.

And a little obituary:

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "Adieu to Rick Perry...He probably would have made a very good president."

In what universe, Roger?

Chuck Baldwin, Renew America:  "Bush and Obama make Putin look good"

They make a would-be dictator like Putin look good to a right wing racist hater like you, Chuck.  Not to anyone else.

And a special shout out to Republican Presidential "candidate" Rand Paul, who had this to say about Donald Trump:

“Someone Has to Point Out to the American Public That He’s a Fake”

Translation, for those not familiar with Republicans:  "Someone has to point out that, if Trump were not in the race, I would be doing a lot better flogging the same hateful ideas.  After all, Trump has no government experience, whereas I am a sitting United States Senator, thanks to my daddy's connections"

Tyler O'Neil, PJ Media:  "Obama Administration Leaves Conservative Schools Off ‘College Scorecard’

The horror! Turns out that they were left off because they are right wing schools that refuse to allow their students to get title IV money for their education, because it is a communist plot.  Consequently, they are not required to submit records to the government, and so they are not on the scorecard. Somehow, that is the government's fault.

Frank Tipler, PJ Media:  "Atheist Scientists Are Incompetent"

Okay, then.

Stephen Kruiser, PJ Media:  "Even as McConnell Gives Planned Parenthood a Pass, MSM Continues to Cover for Group...It's as if the videos don't exist."

Or as if they are a pack of malignant forgeries carefully edited to spread a fictitious smear.  Well, that's what they really are.  Stephen seems to have forgotten that.

Brianna Sharbaugh, PJ Media:  "How to Prepare Your Kids for the Dangers of Sexual Predators"

Keep them away from the Duggars.

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Pope lays out global Marxist agenda"

Well, Cliff just wanted to be sure that we understand what caring for the poor is all about.  Funny how Republicans loved the perverted son of a bitch who was the last Pope, but this one is a Communist.

Well, enough.  The right wing blogs have been particularly lacking in humor lately, so I had trouble scraping this together.  I'm quitting while I'm ahead.  Or at least less than a million miles behind. When it comes to idiocy, you can never catch up to the wingnuts.

3 comments:

Infidel753 said...

Unpacking and parsing Palin's utterances is kind of like trying to reassemble a pile of hamburger into a cow. Very labor-intensive and the result isn't much of an improvement over the original mess.

If the Christian work ethic is so important, I guess that explains why the pagan (actually now mostly atheist) country of Japan can't produce quality products, while Alabama is the high-tech manufacturing powerhouse of the world.

Oh, and of course the Pope is a Marxist. He was probably born in Kenya too.

Magpie said...

Not to deny her capacity for straight-out lying, but Palin exhibits a common mentality that utterance alone is the thing.
At some point she received the impression that ‘diverse’ - as a word - is 'good‘ somehow, and now she incorporates that word into her vacuous utterances totally disconnected from any real understanding of what it means, let alone the crucial detail of what it actually requires.
The noise of the word alone should be enough, in her cretin’s self-serving pea-brain.
It is a horrible superficiality, almost as if one could take total ignorance and have it devolve even further.

Green Eagle said...

I'd be stunned if Palin had an IQ higher than 85 or 90. But she really thinks she is smart, thanks to the adulation she has received from the right. Really, if Dunning and Krueger start advertising, they should put her on their billboards.