Wingnut Wrapup

Today's Wingnut Wrapup (dis)respectively dedicated to Congressman Louie Gohmert, for coming up with the ultimate Republican answer to the question, "knowing what you know now, would you have invaded Iraq:"

“Everybody else wants to ask that question of, ‘Gee, would you have gone into Iraq if you’d known what you know now?’ And I think if President Bush had known that he would have a total incompetent follow him that would not even be able to negotiate a status of forces agreement with Iraq and start helping our enemies and just totally put the Middle East in chaos, then he would have to think twice about doing anything if he had known he would have such a total incompetent leader take over after him. That should be the question.”

Thanks, Obama.  And let's just serve up a large helping of total contempt for the vicious, disgusting assholes in Texas who put this man in Congress.

And I want to continue out with something that is not at all funny, but you are going to be hearing this lie from now until election day, 2016, so you might as well get ready for it:

Michael Bargo, American Thinker:  "The FTC recently cited several cancer charities for fraudulent practices.  The charities gave false promises and misused funds for personal use.  The managers of the Cancer Fund of America used the proceeds to take vacations, give themselves high salaries, new cars and directed very little to the actual treatment of cancer.

This comes just two weeks after it was revealed that the Clinton Foundation has been doing exactly the same thing, but an FTC case has yet to be opened. This sounds very much like the way Bill and Hillary Clinton use the money from their Clinton Foundation.  Only ten percent of the $252 million raised from 2011 to 2013 went to charitable grants.  Instead they give their employees elaborate salaries, pay for their travel on private jets, expensive hotel rooms and so on."

Well, notice first of all that those guys running the cancer charities were giving themselves the money.  Not even right wingers have the gall (or want to risk the libel suit) to assert that the Clintons are taking the money themselves- no, their problem is that they are treating their employees too well. The horror!

However, now for the really obscene thing about this claim.  Many charities, like say, the Ford Foundation, operate by giving grants to people.  The Clinton Foundation does not do this.  It mainly runs its own programs around the world which have spent tens of millions of dollars on their programs.  Only a very small amount of their expenditures go to grants (the 10% conservatives are blabbing about;) that doesn't mean the Clintons are stealing the rest, but that is what right wingers want you to believe.  The people spreading this sick garbage know perfectly well what the real story is, but since they don't have a single thing to blame Hillary for, they've got to make things up.  Think Benghazi.

Well, that's what we have in store for us.  Notice that their first real shot in the anti-Clinton war, the lying book Clinton Cash disappeared without a trace a couple of weeks after it was released, due to its endless falsehoods.  But don't worry; if there is one thing Conservatives have an endless supply of (other than American soldiers to send overseas to die for nothing) it's lies.

Walter E. Williams, Town Hall:  "Hustlers and people with little understanding want us to believe that today's black problems are the continuing result of a legacy of slavery, poverty and racial discrimination."

Well, imagine that!  Those wacky liberals.  What an absolutely preposterous notion!  No, the plight of black people in the US today is the result of Democrats- of course it is!

Actually, the real question about this article is where they actually found a black man willing to say these things, knowing perfectly well that if it had been up to his new-found right wing friends, he would still be a slave, or if it turned out to be cheaper, to just find some fat redneck to say it, and then pay a good Photoshop guy to make him look black.

Star Parker, Town Hall:  "Does Rubio Have That Reagan Magic?"

Magic.  You mean the ability to lie about anything without the slightest tell?  No, he doesn't.  It takes a lifetime as a B actor to develop that skill.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Hillary Clinton's Buddy Subpoened By Trey Gowdy Over Secret Libya Intelligence Emails"

Yes, it is now apparently illegal, according to Justice Katie, for a private citizen to give his advice to Hillary Clinton.  Not a problem on the Republican side.  When private citizens, say the Koch brothers, tell them what to do, it's not "advice," it's "marching orders."

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "As ISIS Marches, Obama To Cite Global Warming As National Security Threat During Coast Guard Commencement"

Conservatives like Katie do not have enough mental capacity to conceive of two threats at the same time.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Report: Clinton Foundation Staff Not Fond Of Chelsea Clinton"

A vital issue in determining whether Hillary should be President.  Man, how does one ignorant little blonde wingnut turn out so many lies in one day?

Moe Lane, Red State:  "Los Angeles has decided to pass a minimum wage increase to $15. …The fools. The poor, mad fools."

Caring about the poor makes you a fool.  Well, that's a point of view, I guess.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "Yes, Jesus did talk about homosexuality"

He just did it in a secret code language only comprehensible to right wingers; the same language that tells them that the second amendment is all about fighting government tyranny, or that taxation is Communism.

Alan Keyes, Renew America:  "When people who approach me as fellow "conservatives" ask me who I support or might support for president in the GOP primaries, I immediately feel a mingled sense of irritation and anger. It reminds me of the way I felt in 2008 when media types asked me whether I felt proud to see Obama occupy the Oval Office. Would I feel proud to see a serial killer elected president just because his skin wasn't white?  

Bridle if you like at the effrontery of comparing Obama to a serial killer. The 20th century offers ample proof that government officials who conform themselves to evil ideologies are more than likely to produce death tolls so massive that no word or phrase truly expresses the enormity of their crimes. What I learned about Obama as I prepared to run against him for the U.S. Senate in 2004 convinced me that he was a hardline socialist ideologue, in the ruthless, self-worshiping mold Hitler and Stalin had in common."

"Bridle if you like at the effrontery of comparing Obama to a serial killer."  Would you be upset, Alan, if we just laughed instead?  And about those massive death tolls, how about the million or so the last Republican President killed in Iraq?

Garth Kant, Renew America:  "Conservatives demand GOP keep campaign promises"

They really expected them to keep their promises, I guess.  How quaint.  Actually, though, they are being a little unfair to the Republican party, who did keep their promises.  To the Koch brothers.

Andrew C. McCarthy, National Review:  "The Iraq Question Conservatives Need to Do a Better Job Answering"

Well, try this one:  How did you guys manage to lie the country into the biggest military blunder since Austria invaded Serbia in 1914?  And why did Jeb muff the question so badly?  Well, at least they have an answer for that one:

"So how could someone that bright and able be unprepared for the inevitable question about his brother’s momentous decision to oust Saddam Hussein? But I don’t think that was the problem. I think he was too prepared..."

That's right, he was too prepared!  Andrew suggests that the answer that Republicans should give is to blame it all on Hillary!  That's right, it's all her fault.  I kid you not, that is what Mr. McCarthy said Republican candidates should do when this question comes up in the future.  And I am sure they will take his advice- if they had not figured that strategy out all by themselves.

Joe Kovacs, World Net Daily:  "Are mystery 'trumpet blasts' in sky from God?  In the final book of the New Testament known as the Book of Revelation, angels are shown to be sounding trumpets, accompanied by a variety of supernatural plagues upon Planet Earth. 

And now, mysterious, unexplained sounds in the sky that some are likening to trumpet blasts are puzzling people all over the world, including the United States...Some who have heard the phenomenon have reportedly experienced severe nightmares for days afterward."

World Net Daily- your source for the most vital information on the internet.  Personally, of course, I connect these mysterious sounds in the sky with the recent move of B.B. King to heaven.  There's some heavy jammin' going on up there, but given Republicans' knowledge of black culture, it's all "mysterious sounds" to them.

Rich Galen, Town Hall:  "A poll released this week by the Pew Research Center shows that Republicans are, for the most part, pleased with the GOP field of potential Presidential Candidates."

Boundless stupidity on the march.  I mean, really.

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "Like a Leftwing Blogger...Osama Bin Laden was deeply concerned about money in politics, global warming, and a host of other left-wing issues. It’s like Hitler, who was deeply concerned that his nation needed a minimum wage, universal health care, and needed to go organic, vegetarian as a nation."

Hey, left wingers are Osama and Hitler too.  More sage observation from CNN's right wing spokesman.

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "The Houston Chronicle’s Dylan Baddour Lied About Ted Cruz"

Dylan Baddour?  Who is that?  Really, Erick, who gives a fuck?  Any lie you could think of about Ted Cruz stands a 95% chance of being better than the truth.

Aaron Gardner, Red State:  "Rick Perry Pitches Executive Experience"

Oh, that should be entertaining.

Michael Walsh, PJ Media:  "Just 23% of Americans say congressional Republicans are keeping the promises they made during last fall’s campaign..."

Yeah, but how many of them are angry about that, and how many are relieved?

Ed Driscoll, PJ Media:  "President Obama is ‘The Vehicle Through Which bin Laden Succeeded’

If by “succeeded,” you mean “got shot in the head and dumped in the ocean.”

Stephen Green, PJ Media:  “Want to Fix the Debates? Look to the Gipper”

Just don’t expect that much in the way of an answer- Reagan is dead.

Joseph Farah, World Net Daily:  “How much trouble is Hillary Clinton in over the formation of a nonprofit foundation that took in massive amounts of foreign money while she was serving as secretary of state?”

None.

“Is it possible she could be indicted at the same time she is seeking the presidency of the United States?”

Yes, if the Republicans can find a corrupt judge, which shouldn’t be that hard, considering how many they have planted the Federal bench the last couple of decades.

“Or are the Clintons still the golden couple, untouchable for crimes and misdemeanors ordinary Americans would serve time for?”

Well, I just don’t know.  How much trouble do ordinary Americans get in, for having a charitable foundation while Secretary of State?

Thomas Lifson, American Thinker:  "Thin gruel: Sanitizers did their job deleting Hillary's emails"

That's obvious, because they didn't contain any smoking guns proving that she is a traitor. Or perhaps a witch.  So, the good ones must have been deleted.  Don't worry, if no one finds them, Republicans will just make some up.