Wingnut Wrapup

Well, here's what the next year and a half are going to look like:

All Hillary all the time! Bet you can't wait, huh?

Matt Towery, Town Hall:  "Major Opinion Index Might Be Warning of Big Changes in Markets and Economy...let me be clear, I am not suggesting that such a meltdown is imminent. But a study from the research firm Opinion Savvy gives real cause to wonder if the wild bull run on Wall Street might finally be coming to an end later this year."

Of course, there is no sign that the economy is going to melt down between now and the election, but a Republican can always dream, right?  Because there is nothing that these patriots want more.

Mike Larson, Town Hall:  "Years of economic propaganda, dishonest accounting and lies have led to this"

Conveniently illustrated with a picture of Barack Obama, just so you get the idea of who is doing the lying.  And what might "this" be?  Well, "this" is a free opportunity to put your name on a mailing list where you will be bombarded until doomsday with crooked investment offers, and to subscribe to a very expensive investment newsletter from investment "advisors" who seem to make most of their money selling the newsletter.  And the thing is pretty much presented as a news story at Town Hall. Sort of shows what they are really up to over in wingnut world.

Christine Rousselle, Town Hall:  "FLASHBACK: "Hippies Crying Over Dead Trees" 

They are so short of anything real that they have to watch a video from 2008 about some people who are sad about dead trees.  I guess it's just ludicrous, by the way, to care about dead trees.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Reminder: Earth Day Co-Founder Killed and Composted His Girlfriend"

And now back to the 1970's when someone who participated in an earth day rally (not an earth day cofounder, needless to say) killed his girlfriend.  Which proves...something.  By the way, he didn't compost her, he hid her in a trunk.  They can't help lying even when they have something real to talk about.

And just in case you were wondering:

Chris Walker, Red State:  "Forty-five years ago, 22 million Americans celebrated clean air, clean water and a clean environment on the very first Earth Day.  The day itself was created by Republican (gasp) President Richard Nixon.  He signed the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) requiring all federal agencies to prepare environmental impact statements and commemorated the very first Earth Day on April 22, 1970."

Nixon, not a hippie with a tenuous grasp on the concept of dating.  Who knew?

Brad Jackson, Red State:  "Jonah Goldberg on Morality in Politics and the 2016 election"

Oh God, not that.  No way.  Green Eagle has some principles.

Streiff, Red State:  "Bill Clinton sold us to the ChiComs; Hillary sold us to the Russians"

ChiComs.  Isn't that cute?  I haven't heard that since Barry Goldwater lost.

Ed Driscoll, PJ Media:  "You’ve Won Against the Gun Bullies"

Funny, the gun bullies turn out to be the ones without the guns, not the ones with them.  Interesting perspective, I guess.

And while we're on the subject of guns:

Paula Boyard, PJ Media:  "Here’s a Video of Ted and Heidi Cruz Shooting a Full Auto Tommy Gun"

Oh boy.  Yes, I did look at it, and no, I'm not going to embed it here.  It was really stupid.

And Paula has been a busy girl today:

Paula Boyard, PJ Media:  "Michigan Lawmakers Want Homeschooled Children Registered Like Dogs"

Michigan seems to be one of only eleven States that do not require this already.  So I guess homeschooled children are already nothing but dogs in the other 39 States.  Well, I'll tell you what:  I don't try to teach my dogs that the earth is 6,000 years old and the President is a Muslim terrorist, so I guess homeschooled children are actually treated worse than dogs, and by their own parents.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "The Supreme Court will turn the Bible into Mein Kampf"

Good trick.  Sort of like water into wine, huh?  Here's more of Bryan Fischer's prognostication:

"The Bible will be classified as hate speech from beginning to end, and it will not be long before efforts will be made to ban it in school and public libraries and to forbid the study of it anywhere on college campuses. Most German libraries today carry only heavily redacted versions of Mein Kampf, and it won't be long before pressure is brought to bear to do the same with the Bible."

And this:

"If homosexuality is deemed by the Supreme Court to be the equivalent of race, all sincerely devoted followers of Christ will immediately be accused by definition of being as racist, mean-spirited, and bigoted as (Bull) Connor."

And you know what, Bryan, that would pretty much be true, at least as far as "sincerely devoted followers of Christ" means people like you.

Tim Dunkin, Renew America:  "Why do we put up with liberals?"

Don't worry.  Tim and his friends aren't planning on putting up with them for long.  Then, BLAM! -Problem solved.  I mean, it worked in Germany.

Larry Klayman, Renew America:  "Impeach the traitor now!"

Just in case you thought they had all moved on to Hillary.  Larry has a lot to say:

"Indeed, if Obama were a white man, a la President Nixon, he would have been impeached and forced to resign by now. (And Nixon was at least a patriot.) But Obama and many of his henchmen, like Attorney General Eric Holder, a true fellow criminal and racist, know well how to play the so-called race card. Criticize him in any way and this amounts to an attack upon not just him but his "people.... The President of the United States is an insidious traitor, plain and simple. He is worse than Benedict Arnold during Revolutionary War days, particularly since more is at stake, and we have even more to lose in today's nuclear and terrorist age."

Okay, enough.  We have more to lose than not even being a country at all.

Now, let's not forget that World Net Daily can top them all when they put their minds to it:

World Net Daily EXCLUSIVE!   "TEXANS BLAME SECRET MILITARY TAKEOVER FOR WALMART CLOSINGS...Rumor: Shuttered stores to be entrance for network of underground tunnels. 

Thousands of tweets, dozens of online publications and plenty of Chron.com commenters sounded the alarm of an impending military takeover.  Now the virtual world of alternative news has added a new twist to the tale: Walmart is in on it, and there are secret underground tunnels."

WalMart is in on it.  Why, of course.  Why did that never occur to me?  Checking this  out, I found this equally plausible story at one of WND's sources:

Susan DuClos, All News Pipeline:  "Has Google Found The Loch Ness Monster?"

Well, okay, then.

James Lewis, American Thinker:  "Who authorized Obama to kick over the nuclear balance?"

The American voters, James.  Deal with it.  And just in case you might wonder why Obama would "kick over the nuclear balance," the answer is obvious to Conservatives:

Jeannie De Angelis, American Thinker: "Surely the president is well aware that U.S. government computer models predict that even a small nuclear war anywhere on the planet could trigger “unprecedented” global cooling.  With global warming the culprit, cooling, however it’s accomplished, would provide a quick fix for the guy in need of a boost in the polls. 

Sure, a small-scale nuclear war would cause global cooling, further reduction of the ozone layer, and harmful ultraviolet radiation.  That, in turn, would usher in death, disease, and drought due to things like lack of rainfall.  

But ultimately mass starvation and plague could deliver positive results"

Positive results.  Well, at least he has a plan to deal with global warming.  That beats the Republicans, I guess.

Newsmachete, American Thinker:  "Let's stop paying for space pork-How "essential" is the Hubble Telescope?"

Because that money could go right to the Koch Brothers so they could spend more lying the American people into electing a Republican President.  After all, knowledge is nothing but pork.

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "A Glimpse Into President Bush's Kindness and Character"

Oh God, no, no, no, no, no.

Kaitlin Collins, The Daily Caller:  "Here's What Kim Kardashian's Little Sister Thinks Is Appropriate To Wear To Dinner-You've got to see it to believe it"

Oh no we don't.

And this, from Hot Air:

Hugh Hewitt:  "You’ve had a chance to read the Jo Becker/Mike McIntire New York Times piece today about the cash flowing into the Clinton Foundation from the Russians as they got control of Uranium One. What’s your reaction to this story?"

Mitt Romney:  "You know, I’ve got to tell you, I was stunned by it. I mean, it looks like bribery. I mean, there is every appearance that Hillary Clinton was bribed to grease the sale of, what, 20% of America’s uranium production to Russia..."

Listen, I'm not going to dance around here. You wouldn't want to see Green Eagle dance anyway- he's dead clumsy.  What Mitt Romney says here is a complete lie.  Of course, coming from someone who demonstrated himself to be one of the biggest liars in history during his Presidential campaign, that isn't surprising.

Michael Walsh, PJ Media:  "Dead Candidate Walking...Place your bets: What will be Hillary!'s last day as a candidate?"

Let me guess:  Election day 2016.  The day after that, she will be President elect.  Deal with it, sucker.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "HUNDREDS OF PATRIOTS Turn Out to Support US Flag at Valdosta State"

Well, isn't that special?

Tim Dunkin, Renew America:  "Honest observers in this country have to admit that we have a police problem that is increasingly growing more serious. While some of the stories that have come out about police brutality and police overreach have clearly been invented or exaggerated by the Left for the purposes of inflaming racial tensions and undermining American civic stability, there are nevertheless a large number of incidents in recent years which cannot simply be wishcast away..."

Ah, at last, an honest conservative.  And what might those real cases be?

"This is apparent from the news we see coming out of Wisconsin about the "John Doe" investigations conducted by hyper-partisan opponents of Scott Walker."

Not Michael Brown or Walter Scott or any of the other black people gunned down in cold blood by police, no.  That is just left wing propaganda.  The real victim of the police is Republican governor and Koch Brothers puppet Scott Walker.  You didn't think that a Conservative was about to face a real problem in this country, now, did you?

Okay, with that thought, we will leave you to enjoy the rest of your day.