Friday, December 21, 2012

Wingnut Wrapup

Today's Wingnut Wrapup is dedicated to Carlos R. Romero:

"OCALA - Lawyers representing a Marion County man accused of sexual activity with a miniature donkey have filed a motion asking a judge to declare the Florida statute banning sexual activities with animals unconstitutional.

Carlos R. Romero, 32, declared last week that he wanted to take his case to trial. He is accused of sexual activities involving animals, a first-degree misdemeanor, after he allegedly was found in a compromising position in August with a female miniature donkey named Doodle."

What can you say?  Now, on to people who make Carlos R. Romero look rational:

First, the Winner of the World Champion Frenetic Overwriting Award of 2012:

Alan Keyes, Renew America:  "There's a sun-drenched, basking lizard quality to John Lennon's siren song of peace that corresponds to a deep longing experienced by all human beings, though not all are willing to admit it. It has the rich, fresh-baked aroma of home, touched no doubt by the subtle but pervasive memory of the time when the warmth of our mother's womb was our all-embracing universe. Safe and secure, one subsists in an effortless dream, with all the give and take of life, all of its primordial labors of self-possession already done, even the breath of life itself."

Man is this one guy who has no future as a music critic.  Not unless he can slay the basking lizard of his own wilful stupidity.

Now, here's an interesting perspective:

Daren Jonescu, American Thinker:  "The progressive seeks to nationalize the slave industry. This is the literal meaning of his demands for confiscatory tax rates"

Taxing the rich- literally the same thing as slavery.  Listen, this mind-numbingly long article was way too stupid for me to bother you with the details.  Just focus on the idea that rich people are slaves if they have to pay their share.  Then go bang your head into a wall or something.  Take my word for it- that will be less painful than having to read the rest of Daren's article.

More bad writing from American "Thinker:"

Jay Haug, American Thinker:  "Why We Lost: The Big Picture...Though John F. Kennedy's oft-quoted dictum that "victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan" still holds true, it appears the orphans are having a national convention asking themselves, "Who's your daddy?"

Really, Jay shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a word processor without adult supervision.

And now, the winner in the "Right Wingers Can't Take Responsibility for Anything" grand championship:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  " Bikers Turn Out to Protect Newtown Mourners From Left-Wing Westboro Cult"

Left wing.  Yes sir.  As Green Eagle has pointed out over and over again for years now, right wingers are congenitally incapable of taking responsibility for the consequences of anything they do.  It is one of their most defining characteristics.  A war of aggression built on lies, favoritism for the rich that causes depressions, filling the country with 27 million guns, destroying the climate in order to enrich oil companies...even Hitler.  None of it is their fault.

Rick Moran, American Thinker:  "In 2013, January 20, the constitutionally mandated date for the swearing in of a president, falls on a Sunday. I'm not exactly sure why (it's tradition) but the actual cerermony is set to be held on Monday, January 21 where Chief Justice Roberts will administer a second, symbolic oath to Obama. The Obama administration is contemplating making the "official" swearing in a private affair....Maybe Obama wants it private because he wants to be sworn in using the Koran. Perhaps he's changed the oath, taking out "faithfully" ("execute the office") and that last bit about preserving the Constitution."

The Koran.  What the fuck is the matter with these people?

And a few of the comments on this idiocy:

"He's making up his own oath just like he's made up his own U.S. Constitution."

"Or, more scarily, because he wants to force the Chief Justice to swear him in as the "dictator in chief".

"I think you may be on to something...There would be no way to verify whether he took an oath "in private".

"Last time, he botched the public oath and then took it again, "in private".... $5 says it was done on purpose so the oath could be taken with the koran in private."

"He knows he's an illegal alien usurper and if he really doesn't take the oath then he can finagle with that IF they come for him. He will have a prepared excuse to escape the death penalty."

"I think it will be only maybe 6 months or less before he (obama) appears in public in muslim "garb".Any one wish to make a small wager on this?????"

Yeah, Green Eagle will make a wager.  How about $10,000.00?  That's a nice Republican number.  So, get back to me real soon. As for the rest of the comments, really, they are too stupid to be worth a reply.

Breitbart News:  "Paradise Lost: CA to Provide Free Cell Phones for Homeless"

Yeah, you tell yourself that.  Tomorrow Morning, the sun will still be shining on the palm trees out here, while you are trudging through the snow to your dead end job in your dead end town where no one wants to be.  Keep telling yourself that we ruined everything by giving a few cell phones to homeless people.  Honestly, we like you to think that way, because the more you live on your hatred and lies, the less likely you are to show up here some day.  Have a nice life.

Chuck Norris, Town Hall:  "The art of jiujitsu is to use an opponent's weight and strength to your advantage. I believe we can further choke the life out of Obamacare by using this martial art technique. Let me explain."

No thanks, Chuck.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Matt Damon Caught Red Handed With Anti-Fracking Hypocrisy "

Oh my God in heaven above, how will we ever survive?  Even if it were true, which of course it's not.  Man, if this Katie  is any sign, the next generation of Conservative writers are going to be even more stupid, and even bigger liars, that the ones we're saddled with now.

Hot Air:  "Video: Union members tear down AFP tent at right-to-work rally in Michigan"

This story is floating around among the wingnuts lately.  Of course, only part of the video "shows" this.  The rest of the photo shows that the wingnuts collapsed their own tent and blamed it on Union "thugs."  Really, we don't call people thugs for collapsing a tent.  We call them idiotic assholes.  Particularly when it's their own tent.

Ed Morrissey, Hot Air:  "Is President Obama Listening?"

Not to you.

Rebecca Taylor, Life News:  "If the proponents of embryonic stem cell research were served human embryos as a delicacy, or human caviar, would they partake? If not, why not? Because of a natural aversion to cannibalism? Does that not concede the point made by the Catholic Church?"

Eating human embryos does not have the potential of saving millions of people from suffering and death, Rebecca.  You know, by your logic, we should ban cancer surgery because no one eats tumors.  And by the way, no one except you seems to be talking about eating human embyros.  Maybe you are expressing a desire which you posess.  Think about it.

Alan Caruba, Renew America:  "If anyone had read any of the many books that have examined President Obama's life and his many questionable qualifications for office, including a Social Security number that appears to have been purloined from someone else, he should not be allowed to take the oath of office for a second time...Here are just some of the books I have received and read over the first four years of his disastrous first term:
The Obama Nation by Jerome Corsi
Where's the Birth Certificate? By Jerome Corsi
Deconstructing Obama by Jack Cashill
The Blueprint: Obama's Plan to Subvert the Constitution
And Build an Imperial Presidency by Ken Blackwell & Ken Klukowski
The Post-American Presidency by Pamela Geller with Robert Spencer
The Audacity of Deceit: Barack Obama's War on American values by Brad O'Leary
The Communist: Frank Marshall Davis, The Untold Story of Barack Obama by Paul Kengor
The Manchurian Candidate by Aaron Klein
An American Obsession: Race and Conflict in the Age of Obama by Seth A. Forman

If only one half or one quarter of the facts cited in these books were true, Obama has no legal right to be President and is committed to an ideology that seeks to undermine capitalism."

Well, luckily for us, Alan, none of the facts cited in these books are true.  So, stuff it.

F. Michael Maloof, World Net Daily:  "Ray gun feared as America's biggest threat"

And they wonder over there at World Net Daily why no one takes them seriously.

Walter H. Hudson, Pajamas Media:  "Why You Should Take the 2012 Apocalypse Seriously-The world may not end, but our way of life is certainly under threat."

If you look at the fine print on that Mayan Calendar, you will see quite clearly an inscription that says "cut Social Security or be struck with a gigantic ball of flame."  It's right after the part that says "unfunded wars- an idea whose time has come, or at least will come in 2002."

Michelle Malkin, Town Hall:  "What the Looming Port Strike Is Really About...It's not about jobs. It's not about safety. It's not about improving dockworkers' living standards. The looming, long-planned East and Gulf Coast port strikes are about protecting Big Labor's archaic work practices and corrupt waterfront rackets."

Watching old Marlon Brando movies again, Michelle?

Pat Buchanan, Town Hall:  "Why God Created the GOP "

God created the GOP?  Who knew?  and now- SPOILER!- God created the GOP to cut taxes!  That's right, that was what he was thinking of when he "created" the GOP!  Which God this is, Pat doesn't say.  Maybe Baal, because it sure doesn't sound like the God Pat claims to believe in.

Neil McCabe, Human Events:  "LaPierre: NRA moves forward with a program to protect children"

Protecting children by posting armed guards at every school in the country.  And when maniacs start shooting missiles at schools, maybe we could have Patriot missile batteries at every school.  And twenty foot tall fences topped with razor wire, with a hundred thousand volts or so running through them.  And cannons and tanks.  Anything to avoid cutting into gun sales.

Neil McCabe, Human Events:  "Hate speech could spark violence against gun owners"

Right.  It "could" spark violence against gun owners.  That is the nation's number one concern.  The real violence against first graders perpetrated by gun owners?  Well, that's just the cost of our FREEDOM!  After all, the tree of liberty has to be fertilized with the blood of first graders, you know.

Alan Keyes, Renew America:  "LIBERTY IS the way to safety"

LIBERTY to own an assault rifle- the way to your own safety.  The safety of others?  Not so much, but then, who cares about them, right?

Ack! Enough already!  Bye for now.

1 comment:

Magpie said...

"Hate speech could spark violence against gun owners"

… who must respond by getting more guns, because having just one or a dozen suddenly isn’t the great deterrent to crime they were bleating it was just two seconds ago…

And when did the Right ever fret that just saying stuff could get someone hurt….?

Wasn’t “don’t retreat – reload”…. y’know…. ‘just words’?