Sunday, July 21, 2019

Wingnut Wrapup

Well, it's been a long time since Green Eagle has cranked out a Wingnut Wrapup.  With the 2020 election season rapidly descending on us like a flock of whippoorwills in Dunwich, Massachusetts, however, I thought it was about time to check in on the wingnuts to see if they are still holding up their end of the deal, where they wreck America and we are left to fix it.

Today's Wingnut Wrapup is dedicated to our President, who recently had this to say:

"Article II [of the Constitution] allows me to do whatever I want."

Thus demonstrating as complete a lack of knowledge of the American system of government as a mentally deficient three year old from Rwanda.  Anyway, on we go:

John C. Goodman, Town Hall:  "The Anti-Science Party"

Turns out that it's the Democrats.  And why?  Because some Democrats believe that everyone who works in this country could earn a living wage if the rich weren't so God damned greedy.  That's not science, it''s...Communism!  And what do economists believe?

"What do economists believe? There is surprising consensus."

The consensus being, according to Mr. Goodman, that workers are getting all they deserve, so tough luck, suckers.  Surprisingly, Mr. Goodman fails to identify a single economist who is actually willing to say that out loud.

Alex Parker, Red State:  "Snopes ‘Fact-Checks’ My RedState Article, Spends Most Of Its Time Attacking Trump & Suggesting I’m A Jerk"

A good use of their time, in my opinion.

Nicholas Ballasy, PJ Media:  "Kim Kardashian Applauds Trump's 'Compassion' for Criminal Justice"

Having to sink pretty low to find anyone willing to support him in public, huh, guys?

Cristina Laila, Gateway Pundit:  "REPORT: House GOP Leadership: FBI Director Wray Not Cooperating with AG Barr’s Spygate Investigation – Burying Documents"

Spygate!  We have a new Republican fake conspiracy, brought to you by our corrupt President and corrupt Attorney General. Don't hold your breath for them to produce anything but lies to back it up- they never do.

Cristina Laila, Gateway Pundit:  "Kids Cartoon ‘My Little Pony’ Unveils Lesbian Pony Couple"

My Little Pony!  Talk about dredging the bottom for something to get upset about.

Nan and Byron McKeeby, Gateway Pundit: "Accused Murderer OJ Simpson Launches Twitter Account – Threatens “Getting Even” — ON ANNIVERSARY WEEK OF NICOLE’S MURDER"

Like I said, dredging the bottom.  I guess a right wing site is attacking long time Republican OJ Simpson because, well, you know.  I mean, it happened 25 years ago, guys.  At least can't you talk about a black guy who murdered someone recently?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Far Left WaPo Hits New Low: Takes Disgusting Parting Shot at Sarah Sanders: Lying “Queen of Gaslighting”

There they go again, telling the truth.  Of course, to Jim, Der Sturmer was far left.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "It’s Suddenly Hip on the Left to Abuse White Kids: Rapper Vic Mensa Puts White Kids in Cages Drinking Toilet Water in New Video"

Rappers are automatically "on the left" because, well, you know.  See the OJ story above. Note, by the way, that it is an outrage when a rapper does this in a video, but it's a wonderful act of patriotism when Trump does it in real life.

Cristina Laila, Gateway Pundit:  "FEC Chair Who Scolded Trump For Saying He MIGHT Take Oppo Research From a Foreigner Used to Work For Deep State Law Firm Perkins Coie"

Perkins Coie- evil liberals.  From their website:

"Perkins Coie LLP is an international law firm that represents great companies across a wide range of industries and stages of growth...we provide a full array of corporate, commercial litigation, intellectual property and regulatory legal advice to a broad range of clients, including many of the world’s most innovative companies and industry leaders as well as public and not-for-profit organizations."

Sure sounds like a bunch of commies to me.

Joseph Curl, Gateway Pundit:  "AOC Retweets Post Saying Trump Is Running ‘Concentration Camp System’ At U.S. Border"

Those damned liberals! There they go, telling the truth again.  Won't they ever figure out how twentieth century that is?

Judie Brown, Renew America:  "Gillibrand and AOC: Catholic predators (shrews)"


Jerry Newcombe, Renew America:  "The effort to add God to the WW II Memorial"

Yeah, I'll go along with that.  As long as they go a little way down the mall and add God to the Vietnam memorial too.  Like a sign above the names of the 55,000 dead Americans saying "God did this."

Judie Brown, Renew America: "Joe Biden: Satan's secret weapon"

I can't wait to hear what she thinks of Bernie Sanders.

Larry Klayman, Renew America:  "A tale of 2 witches -- Clinton and Pelosi"

I heard a woman on some right wing webcast claiming that she was present when Hillary and Nancy killed and ate Vince Foster.  Larry is working overtime to catch up with her, I guess.

And here's my favorite item of the day:

Elizabeth Vaughn, Red State:  "Bernie 'has stolen his agenda from the 1936 Soviet Constitution"

Elizabeth's evidence of this?

"Here is an excerpt from Sanders’ speech: 
A Bill of Rights that establishes once and for all that every American, regardless of his or her income in entitled to:
The right to a decent job that pays a living wage 
The right to quality health care 
The right to a complete education 
The right to affordable housing 
The right to a clean environment 
The right to a secure retirement 
These six “rights,” which define Sanders’ platform, are indistinguishable from the rights identified in the 1936 Soviet Constitution, which is also known as the Stalin Constitution."

Ha ha.  Ha ha ha.  Health jobs and's all a Communist plot.  Real Americans want to be ignorant and sick, have no houses, a poison environment and retirement in poverty if they live that long.  It's all worth it if they are allowed to hate brown people.

Wayne Allyn Root, Town Hall:  "Jews and Blacks for Trump"

Meeting in a janitor's closet near you, all of them.  Wayne "says he considers Donald Trump to be the first Jewish president, in the same sense that Bill Clinton was often called the first black president."  Yeah, and Hitler was the first Jewish Fuehrer.

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "How Did We Miss What the Charlottesville Mayor Said About Thomas Jefferson?"

I don't know, maybe you were too busy screaming "throw her out."

Matt Margolis, Red State:  "Michelle Obama Is The World's Most Admired Woman for Some Reason"

You'll never figure out why, will you, Matt?

And let's go out on probably the most rational thing any wingnut has said in weeks:

Before It's News:  "Almost everything you’ve been told, almost everything you’ve heard since the time you were a child….. Is a LIE….. an untruth….. a Fabrication created and perpetuated by a lying system, under the control of the fallen angel Lucifer...Stars are Not Distant Suns... They Are Living Entities"

I guess they're talking about this kind of star:

Oh well, that's enough of that, don't you think?

1 comment:

Magpie said...

About My Little Pony...

"The news comes a month after the children’s show Arthur featured a same-sex wedding, when Arthur’s third-grade teacher, Mr Ratburn, married his boyfriend, an aardvark and chocolatier named Patrick. Alabama Public Television refused to screen the episode, with the network’s managing director calling it a “violation of trust”."

Before kooky conservatives even had a chance to look up what an aardvark is, one is already beating them to modernity.