Monday, November 2, 2015

Wingnut Wrapup

Wingnuts have been so concerned lately with trying to pretend that the Benghazi hearings were not an incredible Republican humiliation, and claiming that it's a tremendous victory to have debates where no one is allowed to ask questions, that things are a little thin on the ground today.  Oh well, here we go:

Bob Owens, Bearing Arms:  "We do not want a civil war against the radical left wing of the Democrat Party, but let it be made abundantly clear that if they start one, they will be utterly destroyed by armed free citizens, as the Founders intended."

Armed free citizens.  You mean like this guy?


I think I'll take my chances with the liberals.  P.S.- you don't actually need to worry about the particular loon I've shown above.  Named J.T. Ready, he was a very high profile militia idiot in Arizona until he couldn't wait anymore for the shooting to start, and killed four of his family members before removing himself from the gene pool.  Oh well.

From the Council of Concerned Citizens:  "We believe the United States is a European country"

Well, Green Eagle decided to engage in some careful scholarly research on that question, and here is the evidence he came up with, after long consideration of the merits of the CCC's position:

Whoops, no.  As you can see, the United States seems to be about 3,000 miles from Europe.  So, on serious examination, Green Eagle has decided that the United States is not part of Europe after all.


And now, what do you do after your self-generated 11 hour humiliation on national TV?  Well, House Republicans have the answer:

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "BREAKING: Resolution to Impeach IRS Commissioner John Koskinen Introduced in The House"

In her article, Katie forgot to mention that Koskinen was not even the head of the IRS when Republicans' long-discredited charges against it supposedly took place.

And now, let's check in on the current state of the Benghazi garbage.

Ron Paul, Town Hall:  "Missing the Real Problem on Benghazi"

Which is...well, something that eight Republican committees and three years of investigating failed to uncover, but is bound to turn up real soon, now, what with the 2016 election getting closer every day.

Michael Barone, Town Hall:  "Clinton Paying a Price Now for Her 2012 Lies About Benghazi."

The price?  A ten point rise in her approval rating.  Man, that must have hurt.

David Limbaugh Town Hall:  "Who's More Shameful, Hillary or Her Media Protectors?"

See, it's really Hillary that shamed herself in her 11 hours of testimony in front of a pack of partisan, lying Republicans.

Well, let's move on.

Streiff, Red State:  "RNC allows hard-core liberal to moderate next GOP debate"

That "hard core liberal" would be Mollie Hemingway, editor at the Federalist, one of the most strident right wing publications in the country.  Some of her articles there:  Arguing against global warming, arguing that we should be making laws against sex, not guns, a number of cheap hatchet jobs on Planned Parenthood, containing the usual right wing lies, articles attacking the mainstream media for being too liberal, and on and on.  Some hard-core liberal, huh?

And as for you, Streiff, as I know that you seem to see what I have written about you, how can you live with yourself after writing this sort of thing?

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "This One Thing May Give Donald Trump the Republican Nomination for President"

You know, I am not about to read Erick's lame maunderings on this subject, because I already know the answer:  What may give Trump the Republican nomination is the fact that the Republican party has spent forty years creating a base of smugly ignorant, rage filled voters, who actively want to damage this country, and seem ready to do anything to bring it down, rather than have to share it with anyone different from them.

J. Christian Adams, PJ Media:  "Ben Carson Wants Biased Federal Bureaucrats to ‘Police’ Campus Bias...A terribly naive, ill-informed, anti-conservative idea."

Anti conservative?  Using the law to shut down opinions that don't agree with you?  Why, that's the most conservative idea on earth:


Walter Hudson, PJ Media:  "Do Voters Really Care Whether Politicians Are Honest?"

Not Republican voters.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "It Begins… Chicago Coffee Shop Hit With Racist Graffiti: “White People Out of Pilsen”

What the hell does that even mean?  Pilsen?  Isn't that in the Czech Republic?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Michael Savage: Black Lives Matter Are Obama’s Shock Troops, Like Hitler’s Brown Shirts"

Really?  Man what a couple of degenerate morons, Hoft and Savage/Weiner both..

Fay Voshell, American Thinker:  "Forced Conversion of Christians in America"

This article was about the State of Oklahoma removing an illegal stone copy of the ten commanments from the grounds of the State Capital.  What it has to do with forced conversion is an utter mystery to anyone whose brain has not been rotted away by Conservatism.

Breitbart News:  "EXCLUSIVE: CHAPTER FROM GREG GUTFELD’S NEW BOOK GIVES ‘THE KEY TO WINNING ANY ARGUMENT’

A gun?  That's the usual wingnut answer.

Breitbart News:  "WASHINGTON POST: TED CRUZ IS RUNNING THE BEST CAMPAIGN OF ANY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE"

And he's still polling at 4%.  Maybe that should tell you guys something.

Breitbart News:  "FOOTBALL COACH SUSPENDED FOR PRAYING AFTER SATANIST THREAT"

Because you just have to do something after a SATANIST THREAT!!!!  I mean, really.

Calvin Beisner, Town Hall:  "Decarbonize Humanity’s Energy Systems by 2050? Madness! Utter Madness!  Has the world gone mad? 

More specifically, have Roman Catholic bishops gone mad?  On October 26, Catholic bishops, including cardinals and patriarchs from around the world, issued an appeal to the upcoming UN climate conference in Paris for “a drastic reduction in the emission of carbon dioxide and other toxic gases,” indeed, for “ending the fossil fuel era” by a “complete decarbonization by mid-century.”

Mad!  Mad, I tell you!!!!  Of course, they didn't go mad when they tolerated the systematic rape of children in their clergy for decades, or probably centuries, but they are mad for recognizing the clear scientific evidence.  Mad, I tell you!!!  Here's a little more from Calvin:

"the “scientific evidence” that human emissions of carbon dioxide probably add not just some unspecifiable amount of warmth to the atmosphere but enough warmth, rapidly enough, to threaten grave harm, justifying the extremely costly policies the bishops advise, is by no means “reliable.” Indeed, it’s not even evidence."

Of course not.  Nothing that stands in the way of energy industry profits is evidence.  We should all know that by now.

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Rubio Snags Support From Influential Billionaire"

Democracy at work!

Michael T. Hamilton, PJ Media:  "Wondering How Your Christian Family Should Handle Halloween?"

No.  Not really.

Debra Heine, PJ Media:  "With Zero Evidence, CNN Links Carly Fiorina’s Falling Numbers to Her Attack on Planned Parenthood"

Maybe you're right, Debra.  Maybe it's just because people finally noticed what a lying jerk she is.  And let's dump a little more on this pathetic specimen:

Ben Draplin, Daily Caller:  "Carly: 'I Am Tired Of Being Insulted By Liberal Feminists'

Stop behaving like a pig, Carly.

And now, the most idiotic theory about mass shootings you will ever hear:

Tyler O'Neil, PJ Media:  "Lack of Manliness Is Real Culprit Behind Mass Shootings"

They'll believe anything rather than face what is right in front of them.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Lackey John Sununu Calls Trump and Carson the “Two Dancing Bears”

The outrage!  Now, two dancing pigs, that would be a better way to put it.  Jeb, get on up there with them, and make it three little pigs.

Lloyd Marcus, Renew America:  "Is conservative talk radio too negative?"

Hah.  Is a whale too big to fit in a shoe box?  Of course, Lloyd doesn't think that this 24 hour a day feast of lies and smears is too much at all.  Why?  Christianity:

"While as a Christian I believe God has everything under control, Christians are called to make a difference; to be salt. As a conservative writer, I struggle with this issue of always reporting bad news. At times, I feel like the last thing people want to read is another article about how Obama and his army of leftists are warring against America."

But Lloyd will follow God, and just write another one.  With magnificent prose like this (trigger warning: if you are deeply offended by the grotesque torture of the principle of analogy, maybe you should skip this:)

"I have been frustrated with the Christian community for some time now. Obama is an anti-American zealot in the driver's seat of a monster tractor tiller stretching from our Canadian border to the tip of Florida. It has massive sharp blades. He is steamrolling across America, grinding up every tradition, institution, and conservative principle and value in his sight."

I'm still waiting for Obama's tractor to grind up Lloyd.  At least that will be one less asshole in the country.

7 comments:

joseph said...

Pilsen is a community on Chicago's near Southwest side.

Green Eagle said...

Well, silly me. I guess I've spent more time in Prague than Chicago.

Jono said...

Which one brews the best beer?

Green Eagle said...

Prague. Don't kid yourself.

Pilsner Urquell- half a liter for a buck. Can't beat that.

ez said...

" Breitbart News: "EXCLUSIVE: CHAPTER FROM GREG GUTFELD’S NEW BOOK GIVES ‘THE KEY TO WINNING ANY ARGUMENT "

I'm still waiting for someone to successfully argue that Gutfield is funny. Doubt it will happen however.

Grung_e_Gene said...

Jim Hoft is an white bigot from St. Louis (that makes him the lowest of the low), so he's never been to Pilsen, if he had he would know that Pilsen is a Hispanic Community and has been for decades, also Pilsen has the Mexican Musuem of Art and is littered with street murals of beauty, significance and technical skill.

Green Eagle said...

That's the Pilsen in Chicago, I assume, not the one in the Czech Republic. I think that one has a very low Hispanic presence.

And let's not forget that Jim Hoft is the legendary Stupidest Man On The Internet. I doubt he is even aware that the North Pole is full of Elves.